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Wash War I
Michelle: One evening after dinner was over and the dishes had been washed; I went to the sink to get a glass of water. I was shocked to find that the sink had not been rinsed out, and food particles were beginning to form small islands. I very intentionally and very breezily said, “Hey, next time you do the dishes, can you make sure to rinse the sink?” Chris: What I heard, “Hey, you did the dishes wrong.” How I responded, “Next time, I will leave the dishes for you to do since you always do them perfectly and therefore, we know the task will be completed to perfection.” As…
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The Grace of Healing
Chris: Recently, Michelle’s boss gave her a surprise day off work. Michelle assumed, that because I work from home, I would be willing to drop what I was doing and, in her words, “go on a fun road trip together”. When Michelle presented me with the idea, her enthusiasm and excitement frustrated me. I was so annoyed about her, “fun adventure” that after she finished saying what we could do, I crossed my arms and snapped, “Oh sure Michelle. My work is insignificant. Let me drop everything I have planned today so that I can cater to your whims.” Unfortunately, I did not stop there. I decided in that moment,…
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The Healing Power of Touch
A previous blog explored a super power we all have within us – the Super Power of Affirmation. But did you know that you possess another Super Power? It’s the Healing Power of Touch. Holy Hole in a Doughnut, Batman! Bet you didn’t know you had all that in you!
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Do You Remember the Last Fight You Had?
A number of years ago we heard a presentation that began with this question: “Do you remember the last fight you had?” Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, the presenters that day, Good Fights–some thoughts from Drs Les and Leslie Parrott | ajournalofthejourney (wordpress.com) then gave the audience a few minutes to think about it and quickly share their answers with each other. We vividly remember the fight we shared:
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Removing the Invisibility Cloak
Chris: When we first moved to Arizona from Oklahoma, I went from an on-site job, to working from home. My being home meant that my “honey-do” list grew, because my wife thought my lack of travel to an office could afford me plenty of time to complete all kinds of projects. Michelle: After a couple of years of living in Arizona, less and less items were being checked off my list. Then, one evening, I came home to find none of my list accomplished. I was frustrated. I remember wondering how he could be home all day and not do any of the items on my list. That evening, we had a conversation that…
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Making Up is Hard to Do
If you’re married, you’ve experienced conflict with your spouse. It’s inevitable in any relationship. Usually, this happens unintentionally – often over the littlest things. Most conflicts are a result of unmet expectations: I expected “this”, but “that” happened. One, or both of us, ends up feeling disrespected or hurt. Tensions Are Triggers Janine: Years ago, we were expecting company, and I was scurrying around tidying up. Ken asked what he could do to help so I asked him to put away the clean dishes. I then continued dashing around in panic mode because, after all, if the house is a mess our friends might think less of us (especially ME.) 😨 A few minutes went…
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The Super-Power of Affirmation
JULIE: I’m not a superhero. While I can’t fly faster than a speeding bullet, make myself invisible, or read people’s minds, I CAN harness the super-power of affirmation by telling John the numerous reasons he is special to me or the many traits I admire in him. Never underestimate the super-power of affirmation to build up your spouse and enhance your relationship.
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8 Ideas to Help Settle Disagreements in Marriage
“I disagree!” “What?!?!” “You don’t understand.” When husbands and wives disagree, things can get tense. We dig in our heels, raise the volume, and let our emotions get the best of us. Arguments can turn into a competition to win (as if anyone every truly “wins” in an argument). Whenever we hear ourselves say, “You always….,” or “You never…,” we know we’re marching down the wrong road. So how can we settle disagreements?
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Can We Have Some Pickles with That Sandwich?
JULIE: It is 7 a.m. and I’m awake before the alarm, mind racing as I go over the mental checklist of what needs to be done today. John is out cold. He is exhausted from the physical and mental demands of the past week of caring for his parents while helping them sort through and pack up a lifetime’s worth of belongings. Now it is moving day, the day they will start their final chapter together in assisted living. The melancholy in the air is stifling.
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Haven’t we had this fight before?
Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels Jen: Life, kids, work and extra-curricular activities suck up so much of our energy each day, that when it comes to interacting with each other, we are often at the end of our rope. When we are having a disagreement we’ve had more than once, I feel worn down and don’t want to deal with it.
