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The BEST of Your Life
John: “Today is the first day of the BEST of your life.” I retired last Friday after 41 years of working in the IT field. That quote was on the card I received from the team I led. While it is certainly appropriate for retirement, it also rings true in our everyday life. Every day, we can choose to live our best life, regardless of the changes, circumstances, and chaos around us.
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Top 10 Tips to Ruin Your Marriage
1. Put the Relationship on Autopilot Stop dating your spouse. Stop pursuing. You’ve won them, haven’t you? Transition into roommate mode. Cultivate separate lives, separate friends even separate interests. The marriage will take care of itself, the way houseplants do when you don’t water them. 😜 2. Stop Saying Thank You – It’s Overrated. Gratitude is for new relationships and people who are still trying to impress each other. Your spouse should know they’re appreciated. Stop saying thank you for dinner and other small things… it takes too much energy. 😫 3. Keep Score Marriage can be a competitive sport (with no trophy). Keep a mental spreadsheet of every chore, forgotten anniversary, and argument. Have this info at hand during arguments to ensure you always have the upper hand. 4. Outsource Intimacy …
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Behaviors, Communication, Conflict, Decision to Love, Forgiveness, Growth, Happiness, Perseverance, Resilience
Marriage – the Olympics of Relationships
Julie: John and I have really enjoyed watching the Olympics these past couple of weeks. Medals are won by fractions of a second. Partnerships are tested under pressure. Expectations run high. There is disappointment and elation. Marriage is the Olympics of Relationships. Both require preparation, endurance, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to something bigger than yourself.
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Ready for a Marriage Check-up?
If someone asks, “How’s your marriage?” how would you answer? It’s hard to give an objective answer. This week, we offer a short quiz you can take to evaluate how things are going in your marriage. Before we can move toward the goal of a better marriage, we need to know where we are currently. Doing this Marriage Check-up exercise helped us take stock of how we were doing. Here’s what we learned… We had a couple areas where Ken’s scores were higher than Janine’s (or vice-versa) – Parenting and Spirituality. We agreed the area where we struggle the most as a couple was Conflict Resolution. This all led to some…
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Time-out!
Julie: Let’s be honest—life gets busy. Between work, kids, errands, and the never-ending to-do list, it’s so easy for your marriage to slip down your list of priorities. You’re not alone if you’ve ever looked at your spouse at the end of a long day and realized you haven’t really connected, maybe not even had a real conversation, in days or even weeks. But here’s the thing – taking a time-out for your marriage isn’t just something that’s nice to do. It’s the foundation that keeps everything else in your life running smoothly.
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Opposites Attract
Michelle: I love watching Dancing with the Stars. Chris: I love watching Ghost Hunters and I hate that I know the pros, past and present, who have been on Dancing with the Stars. Michelle: One of the pros, Mark Ballas, sings with his wife when he is not performing or rehearsing for a Tuesday night show. Chris: One afternoon, Michelle sent me the song, Highs and Lows, by Alexander Jean (the band formed by Mark Ballas and his wife Brittney Jean). Michelle sent it with a text that read, “This is so us.” Michelle: I remember as a child, hearing that opposites attract and being confused by the concept. My…
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Decisions, Decisions
Learn a simplified decision-making process for married couples. When facing hard choices, remember that "we" come first. This article outlines how to pause, zoom out, and make important decisions together for a stronger marriage.
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The World Turned Upside-Down
September 11, 2001. March 25, 2016. November 24, 2024. September 28, 2025. These are days when time stood still and our world suddenly turned upside-down. There have been others, for sure, but these have been some of the most difficult days we’ve had to deal with in our 34 years of marriage. Julie: September 11 needs no explanation. March 25 is the day my mom took her last breath after 3 months in the ICU after a failed surgery. On November 24, John’s dad lost his battle with Alzheimer’s. And September 28 was the day we were told to leave our church and get home to safety as an active…
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Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice
Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.
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To Be, or Not To Be…Right?
John For this week’s post, Julie and I thought we would share some insights into an interesting and sometimes puzzling dynamic in our relationship. It all has to do with the idea of “being right.” In the midst of our usually life-giving relationship, the need to “be right” can often get in the way. Worse than that, it can cause breakdowns in our relationship that need to be healed. This is a challenge that we deal with frequently but are striving to manage more effectively.
