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FlatTire #2
Summers can be crazy and wonderful. Then you get Flat Tire #2. Summers are a wonderful time to reconnect with family and friends, enjoy longer days and leaisure time at the lake or cabin. Ours got crazy with a backed up septic system at the cabin and then Flat Tire #2.
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Yelping my Spouse-Round Two
We have plenty of reviewable materials between the two of us that we can Yelp so when we were asked to write another Yelp Review, we jumped at the chance. Here is our Yelp Review-Round Two. The ‘Quick Target Run Rating: ⭐ (1/5 Stars) Review Title: “It’s a Trap” Review by Chris: Management pitched the trip to me as, “I need to get some hand sanitizer and tissues. Five minutes, tops!”. We walked through the doors of Target at 2:15 p.m. By 3:05 p.m., we were looking at the seasonal décor. Our cart had two summer themed throw pillows and a watermelon scented candle. We had also acquired a 24 pack of “vibrant summer” felt tipped pens…
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Earning a Time Out
Marriage requires serious accountability to each other in order to last. This is why we are wary of advice to spend time away from each other as if that alone will improve our relationship. Perfectly valid solo activities can be chosen for the wrong reasons, particularly when the reason is avoiding my spouse.
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Playing Games
“You sunk my battleship!” was a TV ad tagline we used to hear about a popular game when we were younger. So many memories were about fun games we would play. But in our marriage, playing games can be dangerous.
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Mistakes Made During Conflict
Chris: Recently, Michelle and I were having a conversation about how we spend our free time. Actually, the argument started when Michelle asked, “What do you want to do this weekend?” It quickly escalated into an argument. Research on couple relationships shows that there are three common mistakes made during an argument. Here’s what it looked like for us. Mistake #1: You Change! It is easy for me to have a long list of what Michelle could and should do differently and a brief list of my own shortcomings. Unfortunately, pointing out Michelle’s flaws does not encourage change. Typically, when I ramble off these to her, she becomes defensive. Michelle: Chris said, “You…
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Running Up A Downward Escalator
Ken: Last week we were making our way through the airport with our carry-on bags. As we started down an escalator, I suddenly remembered I left my phone lying in the bathroom at the top of the escalator. In that split second, my only thought was that someone would find it and snatch it. Not today! I turned around with my suitcase, pushed Janine aside as I started trying to run up those steps that were propelling us downward. I fell near the top step but bounced up quickly. With a heroic leap, like a running back jumping into the end-zone, I made it to the top bruised but victorious. The wide-eyed onlookers asked if I was okay, wondering “what’s up with this guy”? Janine: One minute we were casually riding down the…
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Yelping My Spouse Round One
Chris: As a small business owner, our reviews on Yelp can make or break us. We thought it might be funny to give one another a Yelp review. Here is what we came up with. Michelle: Yelping my husband. Vendor Evaluation: Navigation & Transportation Title: How Many Times Are You Going to Have Siri Say, “Recalculating”? Rating: ⭐ (1/5 Stars) — Would give 0 stars but we did actually arrive at our destination. Contractor Name: Chris (The Navigator)-believes he is a human GPS. Project Scope: A 2-hour one-way trip to Phoenix. The Service Encounter: the Navigator insisted on “taking a shortcut” to avoid a 12-minute delay on the highway. This decision was made without consulting the Primary Stakeholder (me)…
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Coasting
Picture it – you’re on a bicycle, you’ve pedaled and pedaled and put some effort into making it go, and now you are coasting along. The wind in your face feels cool and refreshing and the effort you’re having to put in at this point is minimal – it’s like the bicycle could keep going forever on its own. But if you’re not having to peddle anymore and the bicycle is still moving it can mean only one thing: You’re heading downhill. Now imagine that this is a bicycle built for two and it represents your marriage. Coasting is a dangerous game to play. Downhill coasting can pick up speed…
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Wash War I
Michelle: One evening after dinner was over and the dishes had been washed; I went to the sink to get a glass of water. I was shocked to find that the sink had not been rinsed out, and food particles were beginning to form small islands. I very intentionally and very breezily said, “Hey, next time you do the dishes, can you make sure to rinse the sink?” Chris: What I heard, “Hey, you did the dishes wrong.” How I responded, “Next time, I will leave the dishes for you to do since you always do them perfectly and therefore, we know the task will be completed to perfection.” As…
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Emotional Baggage
Chris: Recently, while returning home from a trip, the wheel of our suitcase broke. It was the last leg of the trip and both of us looked at our suitcase like it had failed us in some way. We were tired from traveling all day and the last thing we wanted to do was have to switch back and forth, carrying a broken suitcase through the airport. So, in that moment, the easiest thing to do was to blame the suitcase for being faulty. We both had convinced ourselves that it was a bad suitcase and how could the company put out something so awful. Never mind that we had…
