The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Family ties quilt
    Differences,  Growth,  Relatives

    Family Ties

    July 6, 2026 / No Comments

    Julie: We’ve just had the privilege of living in the funny, dramatic, wildly unpredictable world of our 13-year-old twin nieces as we took them camping with us.  We’ve taken them for a weekend each year so that John’s sister and our brother-in-law can have time to reconnect and focus on just them (plus it’s fun for us!).  It’s something we look forward to and that has helped strengthen our family ties not only with our nieces, but also our siblings. 

    Read More
    John and Julie

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    How’s the View From Over There?

    June 8, 2020

    Marriage is a VERB

    March 11, 2019

    Annual Marriage Tune-Up

    August 23, 2020
  • Couple on sofa discussing love languages
    Behaviors,  Communication,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Growth,  Happiness

    What’s Your Spouse’s Love Language? 

    June 22, 2026 / No Comments

    Is The 5 Love Languages outdated? Not a chance. See how this practical tool is still saving, changing, and boosting marriages today—plus, resources to find your own language.

    Read More
    Ken and Janine

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    Why Go It Alone

    April 3, 2023

    Married Singles

    August 21, 2023
    Little things Man opening door for woman

    Little Things

    January 24, 2022
  • live your best life
    Communication,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Finances,  Listening

    The BEST of Your Life

    May 4, 2026 / No Comments

    John:  “Today is the first day of the BEST of your life.”  I retired last Friday after 41 years of working in the IT field.  That quote was on the card I received from the team I led.  While it is certainly appropriate for retirement, it also rings true in our everyday life.  Every day, we can choose to live our best life, regardless of the changes, circumstances, and chaos around us. 

    Read More
    John and Julie

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    Intentional Marriage — 50 Ways

    October 14, 2019
    coffee, pen and paper with text "Ask the right questions"

    F.I.N.E.

    September 6, 2021

    Tell Her She’s Pretty and Let Him Go Golfing

    January 18, 2021
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Making Decisions,  Stress,  Time

    Ready for a Marriage Check-up?

    February 16, 2026 / No Comments

    If someone asks, “How’s your marriage?” how would you answer? It’s hard to give an objective answer. This week, we offer a short quiz you can take to evaluate how things are going in your marriage. Before we can move toward the goal of a better marriage, we need to know where we are currently.  Doing this Marriage Check-up exercise helped us take stock of how we were doing. Here’s what we learned…  We had a couple areas where Ken’s scores were higher than Janine’s (or vice-versa) – Parenting and Spirituality. We agreed the area where we struggle the most as a couple was Conflict Resolution. This all led to some…

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    Ken and Janine

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    Who Wants More Sex?

    July 25, 2022
    Taking the Back Roads to a More Intimate Marriage

    Taking The Back Roads

    July 15, 2024
    Roamntic man and woman standing in front of a large flame

    4 Ways to Keep the Sexual Pilot Light Lit

    March 21, 2022
  • Behaviors,  Communication,  Decision to Love,  Differences

    Opposites Attract

    December 15, 2025 / 1 Comment

    Michelle: I love watching Dancing with the Stars. Chris: I love watching Ghost Hunters and I hate that I know the pros, past and present, who have been on Dancing with the Stars. Michelle: One of the pros, Mark Ballas, sings with his wife when he is not performing or rehearsing for a Tuesday night show. Chris: One afternoon, Michelle sent me the song, Highs and Lows, by Alexander Jean (the band formed by Mark Ballas and his wife Brittney Jean). Michelle sent it with a text that read, “This is so us.” Michelle: I remember as a child, hearing that opposites attract and being confused by the concept. My…

    Read More
    Chris and Michelle

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    The Kindness Challenge

    January 4, 2026

    Table Talk

    April 25, 2022

    Just Go To Bed

    March 11, 2024
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Stress

    Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice

    September 14, 2025 / 2 Comments

    Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.

    Read More
    Paul and Stephanie

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    Vulnerability

    Finding Joy Through Vulnerability

    August 28, 2023

    Not All Habits Are Bad

    April 10, 2022

    Candid Chris

    March 7, 2022
  • boy and girl piggy banks with heart between them
    Differences,  Finances,  Making Decisions

    Money Matters

    July 7, 2025 / No Comments

    Let’s be honest. Money matters. When you get married, you’re not just sharing your Netflix password and your space—you’re also merging your bank accounts, bills, and spending habits. Money issues pop up all the time in married life. How you deal with finances together can make or break your happily ever after. Compatibility Counts Julie: We all have financial “baggage” or attitudes that affect our spending, from our upbringing to our personal experiences. John and I have very similar backgrounds. Coming from large families with a mom who stayed home to care for us when we were young meant that every penny counted. Neither of us were extravagant, and we were both savers.  When…

    Read More
    John and Julie

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    Annual Marriage Tune-Up

    August 23, 2020

    Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage

    February 21, 2021
    Being right

    Is “Being Right” Really Right?

    March 20, 2023
  • patience
    Behaviors,  Conflict,  Differences,  Forgiveness

    Patience, Patience, Patience!

    October 21, 2024 / 1 Comment

    “Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” Barbara Johnson Julie:  Our daughter-in-law is now 13 days overdue with our first grandchild.  We’ve known he was coming since Feb. 9, the news of his upcoming arrival being my best birthday present ever.  Looking back now, it seems like an eternity – and I’m not the one carrying him!  Patience may be a virtue, but it is certainly not one of mine.  This has been the cause of many rifts between John and me over the years.

    Read More
    John and Julie

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    The Thief

    July 17, 2023

    In Sickness and In Health

    August 15, 2022

    Yelping My Spouse Round One

    April 20, 2026
  • Decision to Love,  Differences

    Our “One of a Kind” Marriage

    July 28, 2024 / No Comments

    Our marriage is one of a kind. While we’re two people who have come from different places, we put together our past and present influences to become something new.

    Read More
    Nick and Jen

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    Being right

    Is “Being Right” Really Right?

    March 20, 2023
    Roamntic man and woman standing in front of a large flame

    4 Ways to Keep the Sexual Pilot Light Lit

    March 21, 2022

    What Happened to Our Passion?

    April 1, 2019
  • Differences,  Sex

    Why Sex Matters in Marriage

    May 20, 2024 / 2 Comments

    For many married couples, physical intimacy gradually decreases over time. Busy schedules, stress, or feelings of guilt or embarrassment can all contribute to a decline in this vital part of a healthy marriage. But what if we told you that prioritizing physical touch isn’t just about pleasure, but about strengthening your marriage and revitalizing your love? Sex matters in marriage. What’s the Big Deal? Janine: For a LONG time, I really didn’t understand how significant and important physical intimacy is. Making love was the last thing on my list of priorities, and I just didn’t understand why it seemed so important to Ken. When you were growing up, did you get the message that sex was…

    Read More
    Ken and Janine

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    When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream

    February 15, 2021
    boy and girl piggy banks with heart between them

    Money Matters

    July 7, 2025

    You Don’t Bring Me Flowers 💐

    October 23, 2022
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