In Sickness and In Health
Matt: When we got married, like many who may be reading this, we recited a vow of commitment and faithfulness to each other. And it is also a safe bet that all our vows included something like “For richer or poorer” and “In sickness and in health.” Trust us when we say that we could fill more space than we have here on the “for richer or poorer” topic and likely will try to tackle that one later. But today we are going to explore what “in sickness and in health” means to us, especially lately.
Gail: On our wedding day, when I uttered the words “I take you Matt, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health” I assumed that our life would be filled with “richer” and with “health”. As I would quickly learn, life had other ideas. Soon after we married, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. That meant changes in our everyday life, appointments, medications and often a last-minute change of plans. It was something we dealt with and continued with our lives. We learned early on health may come and go, but compassion, commitment, and hope can remain constant. The strongest relationships are not those that avoid hardship, they are the ones that face it hand in hand. So, in nearly 43 years of marriage, one could say we settled into a rather good routine.
Matt: The routine seemed to work. I was quite content to be the care giver – shuttling Gail to her Doctors appointment, helping her with meds, and ensuring she was comfortable and had what she needed when she needed it. Quite frankly, I wondered how I would be if the roles were ever reversed. Would I be as good a patient as Gail was? In my mind’s eye, every stubbed toe or headache was pretty much the end of the world. Well, about eight months ago, our routine would be thrown up in the air, and we would certainly find out just how things would go for us.
Gail: Finding out that Matt was dealing with a serious health issue put our entire world into a total spin. Those roles that we have comfortably known – changed. Facing this new challenge, our faith, hope and believe it or not our gratitude was what we as a couple held onto. We soon realized that how we choose to respond to each other was the one thing that was in our control.
Matt: The way I needed to change was to let Gail give me the care I needed, even if I did not want her to be “inconvenienced” by my needs. I came to know that Gail is an amazing caregiver! I also learned that a stubbed toe, a headache, or something much more significant was definitely NOT the end of the world. With Gail’s love and our collective faith in God, we could and would get through anything.
Gail: In sickness and in health” is not simply a promise to stay married through difficult times. It is a commitment to choose to love every day, even when life looks different than expected. It is a reminder that true love is not measured by perfect circumstances but by unwavering presence.
