Big Challenges, Big Rewards

John

How often do you as husband and wife take on challenging tasks together? What has been your experience when you do?

Julie and I recently took on organizing a regional Worldwide Marriage Encounter convention for over three hundred people in a city a couple of hours away.  We knew going in that this was going to be stressful, tiring, complicated, and a big challenge, especially as it would be bilingual (which we are not) and include a Children’s Program.  It would push our limits of confidence and abilities as individuals and as a couple.  We also believed that it could be an opportunity for big rewards – to grow together as a couple and to benefit the much larger Worldwide Marriage Encounter community, about whom we cared deeply.  It proved to be all of that, and more.

Julie

As we began to sort out our own thoughts and ideas, along with those of the other committee members, it became pretty obvious that this was a teeeeensy bit bigger of a challenge than we had originally thought.  We were more than a little overwhelmed as we tried to figure out how to not only get all of the puzzle pieces into place, but to get them in place in a matter of months.  Whew!

John and I were determined we would get through this together and come out at the end better off as a couple than when we went in.  But we found that sometimes as challenges and frustrations mounted with our event, so did challenges and frustrations arise in our relationship.  We did not always play an equal role or see things eye-to-eye.  There were several times when I just wanted to quit, especially when we were faced with the added stress of some family members’ scary health challenges and John’s job turning upside down. 

But there were a lot of positives, too.  John was patient and encouraging, affirming me when I was struggling.  We leaned on each other and celebrated little victories along the way, like actually finishing something ahead of the deadline.  We broke things down into bite-sized pieces so that we could better work through them.  We talked – and talked – and talked some more.  I became much better about pausing to consider other opinions and options rather than just trying to solve things on my own.  We were able to meet and work with some amazing people, creating bonds of friendship that transcended language and culture.  As a bonus, my basic Duolingo Spanish improved a ton! 

John

We both learned A LOT about ourselves, each other, and our relationship during this process.   For example, I learned new things about Julie’s creative and technical skills as she designed and built a beautiful website.  We also occasionally surprised each other with our creativity when challenged, like when we planned a fun luau, complete with Mariachi, for participants to enjoy after a day of working hard on their relationships.

Julie

I don’t always work well with others and often prefer to fly solo. But this project was simply too big – I HAD to let go and trust that others would get the job done, which was really hard for me.   John kept me grounded and encouraged me to be patient, to give others the chance to succeed.  Because I trust in him and our relationship, I did.  And you know what?  The entire convention was better for it as our stellar group came up with so many great ideas and elements that John and I probably would not have come up with on our own.  I learned to let go and trust. 

We were reminded that together as a couple, we are so much stronger than we are as individuals. The overwhelmingly positive feedback we got was so rewarding! We felt joyful knowing that TOGETHER we had helped to make such a difference for so many people. We make a pretty darn good team! 😊

Now that it is all in the rear-view mirror, we realize just how much we grew as a couple because we took on this big challenge.  Through the difficulties and stress, as well as successes and triumphs, we grew to a new appreciation for the strengths, gifts, insights, capabilities, and even weaknesses that are a part of each of us and of our relationship.  As the old saying goes, “Gold is tested in fire.” We were certainly tested, and the shine of the gold in our relationship is stronger as a result. That is a BIG reward!

John

It is by challenging ourselves individually and as a couple to try something new that we can grow together in ways that would not have occurred otherwise.  I deeply appreciate even more Julie’s love and devotion to others, her leadership, spirit of dedication and generosity, and ability to overcome challenges.  This has added a new and wonderful aspect to our relationship.

Big challenges don’t have to be a multiple hundred-person event to bring big rewards.  Tackling a home improvement project, working towards a fitness goal together, or even planning your next vacation can bring many challenges, to be sure, but can also be highly rewarding.  So, what are you waiting for?  Bring it on!