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Making Home a Safe Place
When our kids were very young, we had the good fortune of getting to know a couple with teens and adult children. Steve and Barb were a delight to be around, and one of the things that struck us the most about them was the way their love seemed to inspire a welcoming atmosphere in their home. We’d be sitting with them chatting, and see teenagers wandering through, laughing, and raiding the pantry for snacks. Barb would point out – oh, that one is ours, and those other two are friends. Talking about it later, we decided we wanted our home to be like Steve and Barb’s, a safe place…
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Prioritizing US
Julie: Grandkids, family activities, visiting sick relatives and friends, volunteer work, visiting our kids, jobs, the house, the bills – life has a million distractions. It’s so easy to let our lenses of love get out of focus and prioritize these other things over our sexual relationship. Our sexual flame flickers as we behave more like roommates than lovers.
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Wash War I
Michelle: One evening after dinner was over and the dishes had been washed; I went to the sink to get a glass of water. I was shocked to find that the sink had not been rinsed out, and food particles were beginning to form small islands. I very intentionally and very breezily said, “Hey, next time you do the dishes, can you make sure to rinse the sink?” Chris: What I heard, “Hey, you did the dishes wrong.” How I responded, “Next time, I will leave the dishes for you to do since you always do them perfectly and therefore, we know the task will be completed to perfection.” As…
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Behaviors, Communication, Conflict, Decision to Love, Forgiveness, Growth, Happiness, Perseverance, Resilience
Marriage – the Olympics of Relationships
Julie: John and I have really enjoyed watching the Olympics these past couple of weeks. Medals are won by fractions of a second. Partnerships are tested under pressure. Expectations run high. There is disappointment and elation. Marriage is the Olympics of Relationships. Both require preparation, endurance, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to something bigger than yourself.
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We’re Broken
Your marriage is broken… or at least that’s how it seems. Here’s a secret… we’re ALL broken. Both as individuals and as couples, we’re all broken in some way. We’re in constant need of repair and healing. From our past and in the present. And… just acknowledging this is huge. Although so many couples may seem perfect (or in a state of perpetual bliss), we all experience brokenness in marriage. We all cycle through stages of romance, disappointment, and disillusionment. But there’s hope and strength in knowing that we don’t have to be perfect. We just need to be willing to work on growing together rather than apart. ROMANCE KEN: This is the phase of our relationship I remember best: dating, honeymoon, and newlywed times. Boy-o-boy, were those good times. I spent a lot of time just yearning for those exact times to return. DISAPPOINTMENT JANINE: Shakespeare said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” When…
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To Be, or Not To Be…Right?
John For this week’s post, Julie and I thought we would share some insights into an interesting and sometimes puzzling dynamic in our relationship. It all has to do with the idea of “being right.” In the midst of our usually life-giving relationship, the need to “be right” can often get in the way. Worse than that, it can cause breakdowns in our relationship that need to be healed. This is a challenge that we deal with frequently but are striving to manage more effectively.
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How to Resolve Disagreements in Marriage
A few years ago we saw an article with the title: How to Resolve Disagreements in Marriage, by Nina Chen, Ph.D. Here’s what Dr. Chen, a Human Development Specialist, had to say: “There is no perfect marriage. Even happy, healthy marriages involve some conflict from time to time. Conflict is a normal part of sharing life with someone else. The key is to know how to deal with disagreement and conflict in a constructive way. These steps can help: 1. Set a specific time to work on the disagreement It is very important to discuss problems when both spouses can mentally and emotionally prepare. Writing down the problem before discussion…
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The Grace of Healing
Chris: Recently, Michelle’s boss gave her a surprise day off work. Michelle assumed, that because I work from home, I would be willing to drop what I was doing and, in her words, “go on a fun road trip together”. When Michelle presented me with the idea, her enthusiasm and excitement frustrated me. I was so annoyed about her, “fun adventure” that after she finished saying what we could do, I crossed my arms and snapped, “Oh sure Michelle. My work is insignificant. Let me drop everything I have planned today so that I can cater to your whims.” Unfortunately, I did not stop there. I decided in that moment,…
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Angel With a Broken Wing
The Angel With a Broken Wing caught my attention. She sat on the front porch of Tom’s sister’s house for as long as I could remember and was a welcoming presence to all who entered.
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Patience, Patience, Patience!
“Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” Barbara Johnson Julie: Our daughter-in-law is now 13 days overdue with our first grandchild. We’ve known he was coming since Feb. 9, the news of his upcoming arrival being my best birthday present ever. Looking back now, it seems like an eternity – and I’m not the one carrying him! Patience may be a virtue, but it is certainly not one of mine. This has been the cause of many rifts between John and me over the years.
