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Be Ready
Chris: When I was a kid, I played whatever season’s sport was up. One year during baseball season, the announcer realized that his typical way of calling batting order, player’s last name followed by ‘at bat’, ‘on deck’, or ‘in the hole’, would not be appropriate given my last name (Seaman). In the hole was quickly modified to ‘be ready’. While I may have been momentarily embarrassed by this obvious (and a little funny) change, the idea of ‘being ready’ stuck with me and has been a mantra of sorts for me throughout my life. The first day I met Michelle, I told her I was going to marry her someday. While she…
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Boomerang Baby
“Mom and Dad, would it be ok if I moved home for a while?” These words were the start of a brand-new chapter in our life. Good-bye empty nest, hello boomerang baby.
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Is There Technoference in Your Marriage?
Recently, we read an article and learned a new word – “Technoference.” This word “refers to the interruptions in interpersonal communication caused by attention paid to personal tech devices.” Although we hadn’t heard of this word, we knew instantly that ‘Technoference’ is an issue in our marriage. But Technology Is Useful… Most of the time, using our phones is not a big deal… technology is very useful. We love getting videos or pictures from our family. We couldn’t do our jobs, keep in touch with others, or find our way around a new city without our phones. However… Every once in a while, the phone in front of our spouse’s…
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My Tip Troll
Chris: Let me begin by saying, I know that my wife is smart, creative and talented. When I tell you the rest of the story, rest assured, it is not because I do not know this. Michelle came to me one afternoon with this phrase, “Hey Babe, I need your advice.” My Tip Troll was delighted. She started to tell me what was going on and I stopped listening about a third of the way in because, quite frankly, my Tip Troll knew exactly what advice to offer. When she finally finished, I was able to share my wisdom. But, to my Troll’s dismay, Michelle shook her head and walked out of the room. Leaving my Troll’s…
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Marriage is a Minefield
We walked into marriage blissfully unaware of any danger. Although we did get advice from more seasoned couples, nobody warned us that marriage is a minefield. Careless Early Explosions Jen: When we had only been married for about three years, we stepped on one of our first big landmines. It started out as a conversation about balancing the checkbook. We took turns with this task and looking at our finances so we both could see how our money was spent, but our perspectives were different. Nick was the main breadwinner while I was the main caretaker at home. Our different responsibilities made us biased to our own perspectives. Instead of…
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The #1 Communication Problem in Marriage
The number one communication problem in marriage is that we do not listen. 80% of couples who seek marriage counseling have issues with communication. Rest assured we are normal — not perfect, but normal.
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Table Talk
Michelle: For months, I had been telling Chris that the wobbly table needed to be fixed. Each evening, I would come home to find it still wobbled. How could this be? My husband is a carpenter. In my mind, I began to create a story. Chris wants to see how many times I’m going to bring it up. He is just trying to make me mad. Maybe, he doesn’t want to fix the table. I could go on and on with the stories I had…because remember, the table was wobbly for MONTHS. Finally, I made a decision. I was not going to bring the table up again, I just stopped commenting on the table. One morning, we sat down for…
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Not All Habits Are Bad
The word habit is often seen in a negative context. But not all habits are bad and building good habits in your marriage can make you stronger as a couple.
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Loving Each Other in Spite of Our Differences
It’s no secret. We are different, two unique individuals formed from different backgrounds and experiences. While this frequently leads to us complementing each other, it can sometimes cause us to clash. Loving each other in spite of our differences is a decision we can make to break through these times of conflict.
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4 Ways to Keep the Sexual Pilot Light Lit
Julie – It finally happened. After two years of extreme caution, COVID finally found us. First John, then me. John? Like a bad cold that lingered. Me? Pretty much the sickest I’ve ever been in my life and still battling fatigue a month later. We didn’t kiss each other for a couple of weeks, much less think about making love. Heck, my sleeping was so erratic and restless that we didn’t even sleep in the same bed for weeks. Physical or mental illness, childbirth, surgery, kids who constantly want to sleep with mommy and daddy, changing hormones, or the death of a close family member can wreak havoc on the sexual…
