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My Tip Troll
Chris: Let me begin by saying, I know that my wife is smart, creative and talented. When I tell you the rest of the story, rest assured, it is not because I do not know this. Michelle came to me one afternoon with this phrase, “Hey Babe, I need your advice.” My Tip Troll was delighted. She started to tell me what was going on and I stopped listening about a third of the way in because, quite frankly, my Tip Troll knew exactly what advice to offer. When she finally finished, I was able to share my wisdom. But, to my Troll’s dismay, Michelle shook her head and walked out of the room. Leaving my Troll’s…
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Marriage is a Minefield
We walked into marriage blissfully unaware of any danger. Although we did get advice from more seasoned couples, nobody warned us that marriage is a minefield. Careless Early Explosions Jen: When we had only been married for about three years, we stepped on one of our first big landmines. It started out as a conversation about balancing the checkbook. We took turns with this task and looking at our finances so we both could see how our money was spent, but our perspectives were different. Nick was the main breadwinner while I was the main caretaker at home. Our different responsibilities made us biased to our own perspectives. Instead of…
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The #1 Communication Problem in Marriage
The number one communication problem in marriage is that we do not listen. 80% of couples who seek marriage counseling have issues with communication. Rest assured we are normal — not perfect, but normal.
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Table Talk
Michelle: For months, I had been telling Chris that the wobbly table needed to be fixed. Each evening, I would come home to find it still wobbled. How could this be? My husband is a carpenter. In my mind, I began to create a story. Chris wants to see how many times I’m going to bring it up. He is just trying to make me mad. Maybe, he doesn’t want to fix the table. I could go on and on with the stories I had…because remember, the table was wobbly for MONTHS. Finally, I made a decision. I was not going to bring the table up again, I just stopped commenting on the table. One morning, we sat down for…
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Not All Habits Are Bad
The word habit is often seen in a negative context. But not all habits are bad and building good habits in your marriage can make you stronger as a couple.
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Loving Each Other in Spite of Our Differences
It’s no secret. We are different, two unique individuals formed from different backgrounds and experiences. While this frequently leads to us complementing each other, it can sometimes cause us to clash. Loving each other in spite of our differences is a decision we can make to break through these times of conflict.
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4 Ways to Keep the Sexual Pilot Light Lit
Julie – It finally happened. After two years of extreme caution, COVID finally found us. First John, then me. John? Like a bad cold that lingered. Me? Pretty much the sickest I’ve ever been in my life and still battling fatigue a month later. We didn’t kiss each other for a couple of weeks, much less think about making love. Heck, my sleeping was so erratic and restless that we didn’t even sleep in the same bed for weeks. Physical or mental illness, childbirth, surgery, kids who constantly want to sleep with mommy and daddy, changing hormones, or the death of a close family member can wreak havoc on the sexual…
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Candid Chris
Michelle: When I was teaching third grade, one of the assignments I gave my students was to create and write about their own superhero. One of my students, wrote about Buttered Toast Man. A three-pager about a guy whose job it was to save the world from dry toast. What my students didn’t know is that I live with my very own superhero, my husband, Candid Chris. His superpower: tell people hard-hitting truths that they might not want to hear and probably want to acknowledge even less. If I were writing his superhero story, I would include the time that Candid Chris said to our neighbor, “Sure your new car is great, but it…
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Peeling the Onion of Intimacy in Marriage
Do you feel disconnected or lonely in your marriage? Let’s talk about Peeling the Onion of Emotional Intimacy.
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Heart Cards
Chris: With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, we were inspired to share how our daughter’s holiday assignment led to a new take on a traditional symbol. When our daughter was in the second grade, the teacher challenged the class to make their own Valentine’s cards. As she got in the car from school, she told me about her assignment. Her concern: “I don’t love everyone in my class. I don’t want to put a heart on every card.” My suggestion: “When we get home, look up what a human heart really looks like.” When Michelle arrived home that evening, Taryn had 14 Valentine’s cards with a typical heart shape on them AND 9 cards…
