Laughter & Sex… That’s What She Said
Laughter can make hardship more tolerable like the glue that holds a marriage together when everything else is falling apart. Laughter is also a lot like sex. Both are pleasurable, shed calories, build immunity, reduce stress and put a smile on your face all day. Seriously!
Tom: We should take ourselves less seriously and take humor a little more seriously. Do you know what tickles your spouse’s funny bone — a comic strip, satire, slapstick or sarcasm? Do you prank each other, tease, give gag gifts or have inside jokes? I love a good joke, but MF is the master of quick wit. We both love political comedy and can laugh until our sides hurt over puppy love videos. Our 16-pound cat can always make us laugh — unless he doesn’t. But there is nothing like a date with grandkids to lighten our mood and make our blessings seem infinite.
MF: Humor is a good thing when we are laughing together, not at each other. I tease Tom, affectionately calling him “My High Maintenance Honey,” while cleaning up after him or waiting as he retrieves one more gadget to make a car trip more pleasurable. When I ask Tom to do something, his classic pick-up is, “For you baby, I could be!” This line from Shrek shows me and others just how much he wants me. Yes, Tom can turn anything into a sexual innuendo. And when “excuse me” has grown old for both of us, (think bean soup) “. . . in your general direction” draws laughter and a few more farts.
Laughter also helps when I may have caused hurt. A smile and outstretched arm along with a line from Monty Python, “It’s merely a flesh wound” brings a sly snicker from Tom and a bear hug from me. It reminds us to not take ourselves so seriously and get on with a solution.
Tom: Laughing at myself is a gift that builds my self-confidence and confidence in our relationship.
Whether I am retelling a mishap from my day or a funny story from my past, humor gives MF a chance to see me unvarnished, naked in my desire to accept myself and be loved by her. This is true in our lovemaking as well.
Whether sex is tender or fun and playful, awkward moments happen. There is nothing like a little humor to right the ship. Laughter can help us maintain playfulness and opens the door for conversation.
MF: Humor can also backfire. It is important to be sensitive and tread lovingly. Humor is like a dance. While some people have a natural talent, humor, like dance, takes practice. Like carbs in a diet, too much humor can be harmful, but just the right amount of laughter can make our lovemaking sweet.
We encourage you to practice humor and embrace laughter. Trust us, it will build confidence and intimacy in your marriage.
