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For Richer or Poorer
Matt So those of you who have seen our past two posts have noticed that we have focused on the part of a traditional wedding vow where a couple promises to love each other “in sickness and in health.” As we reflected on that promise and all the promises that we made on our wedding day, we were struck by the awesome wisdom of whoever authored those words so if you’ll indulge us, we’d like to explore another one of those wedding day promises – “for richer or poorer.” Gail “For richer or poorer”? I am not sure even to this day we actually understand what “richer” means, but oh…
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The BEST of Your Life
John: “Today is the first day of the BEST of your life.” I retired last Friday after 41 years of working in the IT field. That quote was on the card I received from the team I led. While it is certainly appropriate for retirement, it also rings true in our everyday life. Every day, we can choose to live our best life, regardless of the changes, circumstances, and chaos around us.
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Money Matters
Let’s be honest. Money matters. When you get married, you’re not just sharing your Netflix password and your space—you’re also merging your bank accounts, bills, and spending habits. Money issues pop up all the time in married life. How you deal with finances together can make or break your happily ever after. Compatibility Counts Julie: We all have financial “baggage” or attitudes that affect our spending, from our upbringing to our personal experiences. John and I have very similar backgrounds. Coming from large families with a mom who stayed home to care for us when we were young meant that every penny counted. Neither of us were extravagant, and we were both savers. When…
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Money Talk
Julie: 2023 has been the most expensive year we’ve ever had. Even more than when we had a couple of kids in college at the same time. We’ve known it was coming, and, fortunately, we’ve prepared for most of it. In a 12-month period, we will have funded the following: Wedding (groom’s side, so whew!) New roof on the house Replacing siding, shutters, gutters on same house A car Bats in the attic (AGAIN! Even after replacing the roof and siding! Sigh. At least the ants are gone. Click Going to Bat for Your Spouse for more on that.) A deck, which is ready to be condemned Landscaping, which will…
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Marriage is a Minefield
We walked into marriage blissfully unaware of any danger. Although we did get advice from more seasoned couples, nobody warned us that marriage is a minefield. Careless Early Explosions Jen: When we had only been married for about three years, we stepped on one of our first big landmines. It started out as a conversation about balancing the checkbook. We took turns with this task and looking at our finances so we both could see how our money was spent, but our perspectives were different. Nick was the main breadwinner while I was the main caretaker at home. Our different responsibilities made us biased to our own perspectives. Instead of…
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Changing Our Dance and Learning to Love It
Photo Credit: John Gibbons on Unsplash Most of us know someone who thrives on change. They love to spice things up. For them, the most maddening phrase is: “but we’ve always done it this way.” The rest of us find security in knowing what we know, doing what we do well and living within our comfort zone. We recently found ourselves at a crossroads in our lives with our medical practice. The writing on the wall said: “Don’t expect to see a change if you aren’t willing to make one.”
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Got Money Arguments?
When couples have conversations about money, it often leads to disagreements, defensiveness, and arguments. Why is it so difficult to talk about finances? Conversations about money usually aren’t JUST about money. We all have underlying feelings (some very strong) about money. Fear. Insecurity. Resentment. Our past experiences affect how we deal with money. When we talk with our spouse about how to spend or save, all those memories and feelings start to surface.
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Lessons Learned from Our Vagabond Life
Ken: In 2016 I began working short term job assignments, which has given us the opportunity to live in 5 different states within a very short time. If someone had told us 5 or 10 years ago that we’d be away from our home 95% of the year we wouldn’t have believed it. Since our kids are all grown and gone, we decided to give it a try – for at least a few months – and here we are 3 years later, still loving it. Photo by Dids at Pexels Most people probably won’t have the opportunity to pick up and live this way, but we hope you…
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3 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage
Adapted from: 3 Defenses Against Affairs, by William McKenna People are not getting married in large numbers and why would they? Statistics show that about half of all marriages end in divorce. Television shows and movies often depict marriage in a negative light while leading viewers to celebrate when a character has an affair like it is inevitable and desirable. While no two marriages are exactly alike, there are some very basic and proven ways to “affair-proof” your marriage.
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The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage
Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the things that have had the biggest impact on our marriage. 1. The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.” We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them,
