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Children, Communication, Conflict, Decision to Love, Forgiveness, Making Decisions, Passion, Romance, Sex
30 for 30! A Tidbit of Advice for Each Year of Marriage
With June just around the corner, it’s time once again for wedding season to begin. Whether you’re just starting your marriage journey or you’ve been on it for decades, couples can always use a piece of great advice – that’s why you’re reading this, right? In honor of our 30th wedding anniversary, we thought we’d pass along 30 for 30 – one tidbit of advice we’ve discovered for each year of marriage:
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Dear Younger Us
You don’t have to be married long before you look back at your dating days and reminisce. We got married at the ripe young age of 23 and had our first baby shortly thereafter. Our lives changed dramatically in a short time. Looking back, we don’t regret jumping into family life with both feet, but it’s fun to imagine now what we might have to say to us back then.
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Laughter & Sex… That’s What She Said
Laughter can make hardship more tolerable like the glue that holds a marriage together when everything else is falling apart. Laughter is also a lot like sex. Both are pleasurable, shed calories, build immunity, reduce stress and put a smile on your face all day. Seriously!
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3 Steps to End the Bickering
Even the best marriages succumb to nit-picking over how to do the laundry or load the dishwasher. We differ over asking or not asking for directions and bicker over who’s to blame for being late or how we spend money. While these quarrels may seem trivial, in reality, they matter and getting to a solution beats bickering any day.
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The 5 “P’s” of Constructive Feedback
Photo Credit: Ian Schneider (Reprise of post originally published on 09-16-2019) We once read an article on criticism in marriage. The Author’s bottom line was “don’t do it.” Even asking: “Can I give you some feedback?” was cautioned against. Sometimes suggestions given with the best intent with regard to work, chores, relationships with the kids can back fire. Think back seat driving. Experience has taught us 5 Key Points for when we just want to give each other a little suggestion. These 5 simple points set the tone and enable us to let down our defenses and be supportive of each other when offering a little constructive feedback.
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5 Things Men Want
1. RESPECT: (KEN): When a man is asked, ‘Would you rather be respected or loved?’ most would choose being respected. In his book Love and Respect, Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency. (JANINE): For years, I didn’t appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect. I also didn’t understand how hurtful it was when I disrespected him. When I show Ken respect (by affirming his decisions, avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling ‘loved.’ Another way to say this is: when a man is disrespected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2. SEX:
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Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage
Recently, we attended a work-shop on how to incorporate more positivity into our lives. We were reminded how easily the challenges of life can dominate our thinking. This can be especially true where our couple relationship is concerned. Have you ever thought, “He never gives me any affection” or “She always nags me”?
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Tell Her She’s Pretty and Let Him Go Golfing
Kids say the funniest things. But sometimes, the things they say can teach us a thing or two. Our friends Greg and Cecilia have five children between 1 and 11 years old. They asked their four oldest kids to answer some questions about marriage. Here’s what they had to say: Why do people get Married? Because they love each other. Because they kiss each other. How do you know Mom and Dad love each other?
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Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice
Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.
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Sex: Spontaneous or Planned . . . Let the Conversation Begin
Happy New Year to all! We are so grateful that 2020 is clearly in our rear-view mirror. What a relief. The start of a new year is traditionally set aside for reflection and resolutions. For us, 2021 was no different. We often make couple as well as individual resolutions. Stress and busyness, age and life in general had cooled our sexual relationship to a slow simmer. Our 2021 goal is : “Some is good. More is better!” Planned or spontaneous — all is good! Let the conversation begin.
