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$#*! My Spouse Says
Chris: Because Michelle and I frequently commute from Tucson to Phoenix, we try to find stand-up comedians or funny books to listen to, to help pass the time. Recently, on one of those commutes, we began listening to the book. Sh*t My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern. While, we both heard our own fathers in many of Justin’s examples, we almost simultaneously said, “Wow I bet we could write a post about the $#*! you say.” While we realized we actually had enough material for a book, we are going to limit it to two examples. Michelle: When we were first married, Chris and I liked to ride our bikes…
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Does Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?
This past week we had to spend time apart as Jen traveled cross-country to spend some time helping her sister. When we spend time apart, there is a natural distance between us. Time apart can put a strain on our relationship. It is the combination of not being together, combined with the stress of travel on the one away and the stress of holding down the fort on the one who stays at home.
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Finding Joy Through Vulnerability
Julie Vulnerability can be scary. In her book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Uncertainty? Risk? Emotional Exposure? Who wants to sign up for that? Well, actually, we all did when we said, “I do.” In promising to love each other and give ourselves completely to one another, we basically said, “ I will love you even when you are struggling, even when you are weak, even when you are hurting. You are safe with me.”
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Married Singles
Why do married couples gradually (and unknowingly) drift toward finding fulfillment outside our marriage, rather than within our marriage? In one of his popular YouTube videos, entitled, “Wanting to Fix People,” Fr. Mike Schmitz talks about how husbands or wives might see something in their spouse that they dislike. Gradually this annoying behavior or characteristic can lead a spouse to look for fulfillment from someTHING else. Instead of my spouse being my one legitimate source of fulfillment, I’m going to replace them with ___________. You might fill in that blank with any number of things, such as: romance novels, TV binging, spending time with the kids, hunting, sports, emotional intimacy with a…
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Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
Seriously, Don’t hide the chocolate! Lesson learned: “Say what you mean. Mean what you say.”
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Marriage Wake-Up Calls
Chris: Many couples see the old couple, sitting on the park bench, still holding hands and wonder, how did they stay together after all this time. Michelle and I have thought, “Can we, the middle-aged couple, be an inspiration for someone? Does being married for only a couple of decades count?” While we are unsure of how inspiring we are, we have had a few wake-up calls in our relationship that we will share. The first wake-up call was our unmatched expectations. When we got married, we both brought marriage views based on our imaginations, our parents, movies, society, etc. My mom cooked, cleaned and rarely declined doing something for my dad. When we got…
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A Toast
John: Well, it finally happened! The wedding of the century (at least OUR century so far) arrived and now our nuclear family of 5 has become 6! The look on our son’s face was priceless as his beautiful beaming bride turned the corner, walking down the aisle toward him and their future together. A hint of the boy he once was shone through the giant smile of the incredible man he’d become, We knew this would be an emotional day, one filled with joy as our son pledged a lifetime of love and commitment to his beloved and she to him. We weren’t prepared for how deep those emotions would…
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Little Moments in Time
The word summer brings to mind images of relaxing on the beach, swimming in the pool, hiking, picnicking and the like. Every summer we have high hopes that we will get to enjoy some lazy days and lolly-gagging, taking life at a slower pace and relaxing.
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The Thief
You may not realize it, but you’re being robbed. Right now. The thief comes in many forms. It comes in the form of stress, anxiety, fear of failure, addiction, self-centeredness, or letting ourselves get too busy. No matter what form the thief comes in, it does the same thing every time. It robs us of the joy, peace and closeness with each other. Finances, in-laws, problems with sex, lack of communication, work, “busyness,” hobbies… Whatever our “thief” is… Why do we let this thief take over? And what could be more important than re-evaluating, re-prioritizing and NOT letting any thief rob us of joy? Ken: The thief strikes most…
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Mud in the Backyard
Mud in the backyard. You might think there is a metaphor in that. Maybe there is.
