Hurkle-durkling As Emotional Foreplay

Whether it be a lazy mid-April morning with a blanket of snow or a 60-degree day in December, any day is a perfect day to Hurkle-durkle. Think of it as Emotional Foreplay which begins as soon as we open our eyes to each other at the onset of a new day.

Hurkle-durkle?

Hurkle-durkle is a 19th century Scottish verb meaning to lounge around long after it is time to get up. Lying in bed, on the couch, sitting in a comfy chair or enjoying a sunrise on the deck. For us the location doesn’t matter.

A Major Change in My Routine

MF: Lounging around is a mind-set change for me. I am a morning person. I put my coffee in a To-Go cupand seize the day. With retirement on the horizon being able to Hurkle-durkle any day of the week is something I think I can look forward to. It is intentionally enjoying a lazy start to the day together. Staying in my jammies and ignoring the urge to even think about my to-do list.

Hurkle-durkling as a Couple is all about Engaging

Hurkle-durkling together takes this luxurious routine to another level. Relaxing, yes, but engaging with each other is key for us. Together we might pray, share a focused love letter, or just enjoy the sunrise. I can also read a novel, or scroll Pinterest while Tom takes a deep dive into the internet. Even though we are pursuing separate activities we makd it a point to engage each other. I might share a “cliff notes’ version of my book or laugh together at a Comdey Central replay Tom found on the internet. Together makes it intimate and good. And slowly sipping good coffee makes it even more enjoyable.

Hurkle-durkling is Emotional Foreplay

Tom: For me, Hurkle-durkling sets the tone for our day with gratitude and appreciation for each other. Intentionally enjoying each other’s presence is a great way to begin my day.

Hurkle-durkling is akin to Emotional Foreplay which begins the moment we wake up. Emotional foreplay is simply “building intimacy, trust and desire through emotional connection, communication and non-physical affection throughout the day.

There is No Omission of Physical Touch in Hurkle-durkling

Yeah, Baby! MF will accept a neck and shoulder rub any time of day. I can tease her with sexual innuendos which can make us both smile and be grateful we are still in our jammies. If it leads to love making what a perfect way to begin another day.

The Benefits of Hurkle-durkling and Emotional Intimacy

There is a point, even for me, when Hurkle-durkling crosses a line into laziness, and it’s likely MF will lure me out of my jammies. But when we begin our day being emotionally present to each other, the sense of connection and intimacy stays with us all day.

Call It Emotional Intimacy. Call it Emotional Foreplay.

MF: Being complimentary, flirtatious and present to each other. Expressing gratitude and affirmation. Staying connected with affectionate texts and phone calls. Working together as a team when we are apart. Being gentle in our tone of voice. Sure, we may disagree, but we strive to do so with kindness and a desire to understand each other.

This is emotional intimacy and it does not have to lead to love making. Hurkle-durkling for us is becoming a key routine for building emotional intimacy in our lives which if nurtured builds as the day turns into night. How can you cultivate habits to encourage emotional intimacy in your day?