Letting the Cat Out of the Bag😼

Isn’t it funny how our pets’ behaviors can help us see better who we are inside? As a married couple, what can we learn from this?

For the record, we both grew up in dog households. And not small dogs – Jen grew up with a mutt that was half German Shepherd. Nick grew up with Irish Setters. Cats were never a part of either of our early lives. But life has a funny way of putting the right personalities into our presence.

Jazz

Jen – We got Jazz when he was an 8 week old kitten. He was tiny, spunky, and entertaining. As he has grown, his confidence and self-assurance have always warmed me through. Jazz is the epitome of all I want to be in life. He puts himself forward. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. He goes where he pleases and makes his mark in the world, showing everyone around him that he is in charge. In spite of all of this confidence, Jazz also has moments where he needs to be pet. He is affectionate and counts on his people being there when he is looking for them.

In these moments when Jazz insists on being picked up and pet and loved on, I can see myself in him. While I may try to present myself as confident and capable all of the time, Jazz reminds me that it’s okay to need to be hugged and reassured that I am loved.

Perdita

Nick – We added our second cat after Jazz was grown. Her name is Perdita, which translated literally means “lost.” It’s a great name for her, because she doesn’t have the greatest ability to see and she isn’t the sharpest cat, but she makes up for all of that in sheer sweetness. She is skittish most of the day and with most other people, but at the end of the day insists on getting her belly scratched by me.

I’m not like Perdita, but I’m definitely blessed she’s decided I’m her human. It doesn’t matter what kind of day I’ve had, she just wants to purr while I’m scratching her belly and that’s all she needs to close out her day. Though I wouldn’t have said I was a cat person, having those moments helps me realize that I don’t have to be so serious and grown up all the time. Cats don’t worry. They live in the moment and help me to live in the moment as well.

The Lesson

Jen – While life is not as simple as kitty behavior, there are definitely some aspects of it that can help me in my relationship with Nick. Even though it’s important to me to be seen as confident and capable, I still need to turn to Nick for support when I am struggling. Like Jazz, I can be that confident person out in the world because I have a safe place where I can be myself and just be held and comforted and cherished.

Nick – I can take the Perdita cue in my relationship with Jen as well. I can make the choice to open up and be a little more vulnerable each day. I can let go of my worries and just be in the joyful moments with Jen.

Newscaster Jane Pauley once said “you cannot look at a sleeping cat and feel tense.” We know that many of our readers here at the Couples Post have their own furry friends. We hope your pets help to enhance your couple relationship as ours do, and we invite you to share about it in the comments.