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Un-Valentine’s Day
Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow! Whether you’re madly scrambling to pick out that perfect card on a picked over rack or you’re on hold for an hour trying to make a dinner reservation for a Valentine’s Day dinner date, you are not alone. The pressure to create the perfect Valentine’s Day is on… often deflating the romance balloon. And while it’s nice to take one day to celebrate your love, what about the other 364 days of the year? What if you celebrated your love in less spectacular Un-Valentine’s Days throughout the year instead?
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Motivation Tank
Does it ever seem that your spouse just doesn’t appreciate you? Do you sometimes lack the motivation to show your spouse that you love them? What’s the missing ingredient? Often, it’s the things we aren’t receiving, like affirmation, appreciation and intentional acts of love. Coincidentally, these are the same things we likely are not giving to our spouse. Some would argue that it’s hard to give when your “motivation tank” is empty. It’s difficult to make the decision to love my spouse, when I’m feeling unloved or unappreciated. What’s my motivation (underlying reason) for expressing love or doing a loving act for my spouse? What’s Your Motivation? Really, what’s my…
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Opposites Don’t Attract — They Attack
Let’s debunk the myth that “Opposites attract” once and for all. We are attracted to our spouse because they complement us. They bring completeness to our lives. In a relationship completeness is more than finding the missing piece to a puzzle. When the puzzle is done, it’s satisfying, but no longer fun and interesting.
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Speaking In Code
Michelle: When our daughter was four, she got out of the car, walked in the house and promptly asked me what a HUHA was. I wasn’t sure what she meant so I asked her where she had heard it. She said that someone cut them off in traffic and that her daddy yelled out the word. I mumbled something about it meaning a bad driver although I had figured out that it was Head Up His/Her As$. Chris: As Taryn got older, we went from spelling out S-A-N-T-A, to non-verbal cues like head nods towards an item or saying something like, “I bet Santa could bring something like this.” As…
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Competition vs Unity in Marriage
Are you in competition with your spouse or do you see yourselves as a unified team? Although we don’t consciously think about being in competition with our spouse, our individual interests can sometimes fester into competition. Even little things like who’s turn it is to unload the dishwasher can become a source of irritation. When we compete with each other to get our own way, we both end up getting less and feeling hurt or unloved. When I prioritize “me” over “we,” we clash. Making decisions focused on “we” instead of “me” brings unity AND actually makes both of us happier. If we both give up some control to come…
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Post-Holidays – Blues or Bliss?🎄📦
The holidays have come and gone. As we’re taking down lights and packing away decorations, we thought we’d take a little time to reflect on how our different attitudes in the post-holiday season impact our relationship.
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A Clean Slate
A new year is here. A fresh start. A clean slate. Whatever bad things may have happened in 2022 are behind us and we are free to dream about the possibilities of 2023. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could start over TODAY with a clean slate in our marriage?
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Have New Year’s Resolutions Become Cliche?
Millions of people make New Year’s resolutions. Some make the same resolution year after year. It doesn’t take statistics to show we are not great at keeping them. Have New Year’s resolutions become cliche? Or are we making the wrong resolutions, or the right resolutions but for the wrong reasons?
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We Are More Than a Single Story
Michelle: Recently for work, we watched a TED talk titled, “The Danger of a Single Story”. The presenter, a Nigerian author, shared that she left Nigeria as a 19-year-old, to attend a university in the United States. Her roommate knew, before they met, her age and where she was from. When they met for the first time, her surprised roommate asked her where she learned to speak English so well. She responded, “Well, English is the official language of Nigeria.” Her roommate also asked her if she had any recordings of the tribal music that they listen to. The author shared that she tremendously disappointed her roommate when she produced a tape of Mariah Carey. Her roommate had…
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Holiday Traditions
‘Tis the holiday season, full of hope, joy, and expectation. For many of us, it’s the perfect time of year to have expectations clash with reality and make little grinches of all of us. No! There must be a way to see Christmas is coming. With Jen in her kerchief and Nick in his cap, we soon settle down for a short jaunt into… holiday traditions.
