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Marriage Wake-Up Calls
Chris: Many couples see the old couple, sitting on the park bench, still holding hands and wonder, how did they stay together after all this time. Michelle and I have thought, “Can we, the middle-aged couple, be an inspiration for someone? Does being married for only a couple of decades count?” While we are unsure of how inspiring we are, we have had a few wake-up calls in our relationship that we will share. The first wake-up call was our unmatched expectations. When we got married, we both brought marriage views based on our imaginations, our parents, movies, society, etc. My mom cooked, cleaned and rarely declined doing something for my dad. When we got…
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A Toast
John: Well, it finally happened! The wedding of the century (at least OUR century so far) arrived and now our nuclear family of 5 has become 6! The look on our son’s face was priceless as his beautiful beaming bride turned the corner, walking down the aisle toward him and their future together. A hint of the boy he once was shone through the giant smile of the incredible man he’d become, We knew this would be an emotional day, one filled with joy as our son pledged a lifetime of love and commitment to his beloved and she to him. We weren’t prepared for how deep those emotions would…
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Little Moments in Time
The word summer brings to mind images of relaxing on the beach, swimming in the pool, hiking, picnicking and the like. Every summer we have high hopes that we will get to enjoy some lazy days and lolly-gagging, taking life at a slower pace and relaxing.
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The Thief
You may not realize it, but you’re being robbed. Right now. The thief comes in many forms. It comes in the form of stress, anxiety, fear of failure, addiction, self-centeredness, or letting ourselves get too busy. No matter what form the thief comes in, it does the same thing every time. It robs us of the joy, peace and closeness with each other. Finances, in-laws, problems with sex, lack of communication, work, “busyness,” hobbies… Whatever our “thief” is… Why do we let this thief take over? And what could be more important than re-evaluating, re-prioritizing and NOT letting any thief rob us of joy? Ken: The thief strikes most…
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Mud in the Backyard
Mud in the backyard. You might think there is a metaphor in that. Maybe there is.
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5 Things I Wish I’d Done Differently
Sharon Wilson, a recent widow, shares the five things she learned in her marriage and wishes she would have known sooner. Last fall, I was asked to speak to a group of married couples who are leaders in Worldwide Marriage Encounter. At the time of the ask, I was widowed for just a few months. I wasn’t sure why they asked me; in fact, I asked the coordinator if she remembered that I was widowed. She reminded me that I have something to share and with my husband’s loss, I could let other couples know about our love and life and tell them what I wish I would have done. “The…
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Does He Buy You Avocados
Chris: Michelle and I have been married for a while and have had our fair share of ups and downs. We have also gone through a lot of things together, some of which tested her patience with me and mine with her. But our marriage is a partnership. One in which I accept the differences between us as well as the little things that can drive me crazy, knowing she will do the same. Michelle: Recently, our twenty-five year old daughter and I were talking. I told her, I had some great new marriage advice: Marry the man that buys you avocados. This may sound like strange advice, but here’s…
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Money Talk
Julie: 2023 has been the most expensive year we’ve ever had. Even more than when we had a couple of kids in college at the same time. We’ve known it was coming, and, fortunately, we’ve prepared for most of it. In a 12-month period, we will have funded the following: Wedding (groom’s side, so whew!) New roof on the house Replacing siding, shutters, gutters on same house A car Bats in the attic (AGAIN! Even after replacing the roof and siding! Sigh. At least the ants are gone. Click Going to Bat for Your Spouse for more on that.) A deck, which is ready to be condemned Landscaping, which will…
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Lost that Lovin’ feeling?
Has your marriage turned out like you hoped it would? We all come into marriage with expectations, many of which don’t pan out. Janine: I grew up surrounded by my parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents who were all in solid, committed marriages. My Mom and Dad worked side by side, and I admired how they had long conversations about the day’s events and their plans for the future. I expected that someday, my husband and I would also work side by side and enjoy long talks. Ken: Many of the marriages I witnessed as a child were less than ideal. My parents were divorced. I was determined things would be…
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Sacrificing in Marriage Can Lead to Resentment
Marriage often requires and benefits from sacrifice. It is a willingness to put your partner’s needs above your own. In a study published in 2021, it was shown that sacrificing in a marriage can lead to resentment and other ‘hidden costs’ like anger and guilt.
