The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
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  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
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  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Conflict,  Forgiveness

    Do You Remember the Last Fight You Had?

    June 16, 2024 / No Comments

    A number of years ago we heard a presentation that began with this question: “Do you remember the last fight you had?” Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, the presenters that day, Good Fights–some thoughts from Drs Les and Leslie Parrott | ajournalofthejourney (wordpress.com) then gave the audience a few minutes to think about it and quickly share their answers with each other. We vividly remember the fight we shared:

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    Scott and Karen

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    Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice

    January 9, 2021

    Making Decisions as a Couple is a 3-Legged Race

    June 5, 2022

    Uh Oh, I Really Stepped In It Now

    February 16, 2025
  • Happiness,  Time

    Little Wonders

    June 12, 2024 / 1 Comment

    A lot of the time we spend in life is in small moments, rather than big ones. What if, instead of just letting the small moments, the ‘little wonders,’ pass by, we work on savoring and being grateful for as many of them as possible?

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    Nick and Jen

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    The Joy of Volunteering Together

    March 16, 2025

    Someday Your Children Will Leave Home

    June 16, 2025
    Taking the Back Roads to a More Intimate Marriage

    Taking The Back Roads

    July 15, 2024
  • three couple friends riding piggy back and laughing
    friends,  Happiness,  Playfulness

    That’s What Friends Are For

    June 3, 2024 / 1 Comment

    John: We just returned from experiencing the incredible beauty of the Pacific coast.  2200 miles of mountains, beaches, rainforests, and vineyards in 12 days.  It was wonderful to get away as a couple and do what we love most – exploring the great outdoors.  While the scenery during the first 2000 miles was simply stunning, just as memorable and refreshing was the time spent with friends over the last 200 miles.

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    John and Julie

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    3 Life Lessons From the Movie ‘Wicked’

    December 9, 2024

    Go Anywhere, Do Anything

    June 9, 2025

    Relationships: Why Your Circle Matters

    October 20, 2025
  • Differences,  Sex

    Why Sex Matters in Marriage

    May 20, 2024 / 2 Comments

    For many married couples, physical intimacy gradually decreases over time. Busy schedules, stress, or feelings of guilt or embarrassment can all contribute to a decline in this vital part of a healthy marriage. But what if we told you that prioritizing physical touch isn’t just about pleasure, but about strengthening your marriage and revitalizing your love? Sex matters in marriage. What’s the Big Deal? Janine: For a LONG time, I really didn’t understand how significant and important physical intimacy is. Making love was the last thing on my list of priorities, and I just didn’t understand why it seemed so important to Ken. When you were growing up, did you get the message that sex was…

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    Ken and Janine

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    Money Can’t Buy Me Love… 😍

    May 23, 2021

    8 Ideas to Help Settle Disagreements in Marriage

    October 19, 2020

    Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice

    January 9, 2021
  • Uncategorized

    Gift Giving: Buck the Status Quo

    May 12, 2024 / No Comments

    Gift giving can be a challenge. It can evoke a sense of duty and meets a societal norm. Both carry a lot of pressure. This post gives ideas on creativity and ways to ‘Buck the status quo.’ It reminds us that the circle of love in gift giving is completed only when gifts are received with gratitude.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Sleeping with the Loser

    March 1, 2026
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    F.I.N.E.

    September 6, 2021

    Will It Matter Tomorrow?

    August 21, 2022
  • Accountability,  Behaviors,  Communication,  Decision to Love

    What is Love Asking of Me Now?

    May 6, 2024 / 2 Comments

    Michelle: Several years ago, a friend of mine shared that during a crashing disappointment in her relationship, her therapist suggested that she ask herself, “What is love asking of me now?” My friend shared that despite her instinct to move away from heartache, love was asking her to stretch in a way that she never had before. With several challenges in our lives, Chris and I have found ourselves asking this very question, “What is love asking of me now?” When I received a phone call from a friend of mine, sharing that her daughter died by suicide, I found myself wanting to allow the cloud of gray to recolor…

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    Chris and Michelle

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    We Are More Than a Single Story

    December 12, 2022

    Marriage Is a Teeter-Totter Ride

    July 18, 2022
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    Total Eclipse of the Heart

    April 15, 2024
  • Differences

    Opposites Attract?

    April 28, 2024 / 2 Comments

    You have likely heard the saying, “opposites attract.”  While this is not always true, for many couples it is true. And when it is true, we have discovered that we can draw on our differences to make us a stronger couple.

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    Scott and Karen

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    Supporting Your Spouse While Maintaining Individuality

    October 4, 2020
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    What is the Secret to a Happy Marriage?

    February 27, 2022

    Teamwork

    February 18, 2019
  • Communication,  Romance,  Sex,  Vulnerability

    When In Doubt, Just Get Naked

    April 21, 2024 / 1 Comment

    When we were newlyweds, we heard another couple (married much longer than us) quip a line of advice: “when in doubt, just get naked.” It sounded good to us at the time, and it has only become more relevant since then. Let us explain…

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    Nick and Jen

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    The 4 Horsemen

    March 13, 2023

    Marriage ScoreCard

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    The World Turned Upside-Down

    October 13, 2025
  • Total eclipse of the heart
    Accountability,  Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Forgiveness,  Stress

    Total Eclipse of the Heart

    April 15, 2024 / 2 Comments

    Julie Did you see the Great American Eclipse?  If you were able to experience this rare cosmic phenomenon, you were lucky indeed.  It was truly beyond description and way cooler than we’d ever imagined (literally as well – the temp dropped about 20 degrees during totality).  A day later, Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is still running around in my head…and I don’t mind.  But what I do mind is that I had a total eclipse of the heart in how I behaved towards John that day.

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    John and Julie

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    Does Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

    September 10, 2023

    What is Love Asking of Me Now?

    May 6, 2024
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    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022
  • Behaviors,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Making Decisions

    Love & Respect

    April 8, 2024 / No Comments

    Making generalized statements about men or women can be risky. But there’s one generalization that seems to apply to most of us. A few years ago, we went to a marriage enrichment on the topic of Love & Respect. It was based on a book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (“Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs”), a New York Times best seller. The premise of this book is that men (in general) need to be respected, while women (in general) need to feel loved. Disagreeing Respectfully JANINE: Eggerichs points out that when a husband feels disrespected, it could just as well be translated as…

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    Ken and Janine

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