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Lost that Lovin’ feeling?
Has your marriage turned out like you hoped it would? We all come into marriage with expectations, many of which don’t pan out. Janine: I grew up surrounded by my parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents who were all in solid, committed marriages. My Mom and Dad worked side by side, and I admired how they had long conversations about the day’s events and their plans for the future. I expected that someday, my husband and I would also work side by side and enjoy long talks. Ken: Many of the marriages I witnessed as a child were less than ideal. My parents were divorced. I was determined things would be…
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Why Go It Alone
Michelle: When our daughter was three, she and I were walking out of Target. Before we walked out the door, I asked her to put her coat on. As I was putting my own coat on, I noticed that she was putting her coat on upside down. I bent down to try to help her when she yelled the inevitable three-year-old battle cry, “I can do it myself.” For approximately five minutes, I watched as she wriggled out of the coat, struggled because the sleeves were then inside out, finally getting the coat on correctly and proudly exclaiming, “See, I told you!” How many times have we all struggled, knowing…
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Is “Being Right” Really Right?
John: “Being right” is a quality that I find irresistible. I often feel compelled to establish my “rightness” about something, even when I have that small voice of conscience telling me that adopting that attitude can be hurtful to Julie and our relationship. This can crop up in small everyday little things, like the best route to take on a local drive, or bigger things, like how to handle a difficult situation with a family member or friend. “I’m right,” whether spoken outright or evidenced by my behavior, has caused a lot of dissent in our relationship over the years.
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Motivation Tank
Does it ever seem that your spouse just doesn’t appreciate you? Do you sometimes lack the motivation to show your spouse that you love them? What’s the missing ingredient? Often, it’s the things we aren’t receiving, like affirmation, appreciation and intentional acts of love. Coincidentally, these are the same things we likely are not giving to our spouse. Some would argue that it’s hard to give when your “motivation tank” is empty. It’s difficult to make the decision to love my spouse, when I’m feeling unloved or unappreciated. What’s my motivation (underlying reason) for expressing love or doing a loving act for my spouse? What’s Your Motivation? Really, what’s my…
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Competition vs Unity in Marriage
Are you in competition with your spouse or do you see yourselves as a unified team? Although we don’t consciously think about being in competition with our spouse, our individual interests can sometimes fester into competition. Even little things like who’s turn it is to unload the dishwasher can become a source of irritation. When we compete with each other to get our own way, we both end up getting less and feeling hurt or unloved. When I prioritize “me” over “we,” we clash. Making decisions focused on “we” instead of “me” brings unity AND actually makes both of us happier. If we both give up some control to come…
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Post-Holidays – Blues or Bliss?🎄📦
The holidays have come and gone. As we’re taking down lights and packing away decorations, we thought we’d take a little time to reflect on how our different attitudes in the post-holiday season impact our relationship.
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A Clean Slate
A new year is here. A fresh start. A clean slate. Whatever bad things may have happened in 2022 are behind us and we are free to dream about the possibilities of 2023. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could start over TODAY with a clean slate in our marriage?
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Choose Your Hard
“Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Choose wisely.” – Unknown Marriage Enrichment? Really? Is your marriage one of the most important gifts you have? If a friend told you, “My wife and I went to a marriage class,” would you say, ‘Oh no. Are you two having trouble?’ Or, would you say ‘How was it? We’ve been wanting to do something like…
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Rewind
Michelle: I find it interesting to hear people say that we are coming out of COVID. Sure, the numbers are down, hospitals are seeing fewer deaths and having more open beds. But, for some of us, we would rather play a game we have created called Rewind. Chris: To understand our game, we need to share why it was created and to explain why it was created, we need to tell you about my brother. David, my brother from another mother was my partner in crime and the guy who was all in! He would give you the shirt off his back or go out in the middle of the night/wee hours…
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Making Up is Hard to Do
If you’re married, you’ve experienced conflict with your spouse. It’s inevitable in any relationship. Usually, this happens unintentionally – often over the littlest things. Most conflicts are a result of unmet expectations: I expected “this”, but “that” happened. One, or both of us, ends up feeling disrespected or hurt. Tensions Are Triggers Janine: Years ago, we were expecting company, and I was scurrying around tidying up. Ken asked what he could do to help so I asked him to put away the clean dishes. I then continued dashing around in panic mode because, after all, if the house is a mess our friends might think less of us (especially ME.) 😨 A few minutes went…
