$#*! My Spouse Says

Chris:

Because Michelle and I frequently commute from Tucson to Phoenix, we try to find stand-up comedians or funny books to listen to, to help pass the time. Recently, on one of those commutes, we began listening to the book. Sh*t My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern. While, we both heard our own fathers in many of Justin’s examples, we almost simultaneously said, “Wow I bet we could write a post about the $#*! you say.” While we realized we actually had enough material for a book, we are going to limit it to two examples.

Michelle:

When we were first married, Chris and I liked to ride our bikes from our apartment to a restaurant, eat at the restaurant and then ride home to burn off the calories. On one such occasion, about a quarter of a mile from home, my new husband popped a curb and rode off ahead. As I watched, I thought, I could do that. Approximately ten minutes later my knight in shining bike helmet rolled back to the scene to find my bike laying half in the street and half on the curb and me laying on my side. He said, “What happened?”  I responded, “I thought I could pop the curb like you.”  He replied, “How’d that work out for you?”  After my broken tailbone healed, this became our new catch phrase when anyone in our house would make a mistake. What I realized in the moment was, had he freaked out I would have freaked out. His calm and sarcastic approach to my injury helped me focus on something other than the pain and got me through the, “Grab your air donut” remarks that pelted the conversation for months to follow.

Chris:

Like most husbands, I have had made my fair share of mistakes and I have had to apologize.  However, unlike most wives, my wife is not satisfied hearing only, “I’m sorry.”  When I used to utter those two words together, my wife would respond with two words of her own, “For what?”  As a teacher, she explained one evening, that she never wanted children to offer a robotic apology after hearing from an adult that they should apologize.  What she tried to instill in her children is that the person receiving the apology should understand what they are apologizing for and be genuinely remorseful.  Both of us have worked to apply this to our marriage, seeking to understand the perspective of the other and then genuinely seeking forgiveness for the offense.  

Michelle:

At the end of each chapter, Justin gives little quotes from his dad on various topics.  We decided we would do the same.

• On our daughter’s break-up with a boyfriend my husband said, “Can I still talk to him?  What?? He’s really cool!”  
• When someone commented that Chris played with Lego, “I don’t play with Lego, I build with Lego.  There’s a difference.”

Chris:

• On shopping my wife has said, “I hate shopping but sometimes finding the right thing takes a long time.”  
• On being in love, “Does he buy you avocados?”