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The Rituals of Connection
Wikipedia defines rituals as a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions or objects of importance. It goes on to say that rituals forge bonds and help people turn towards one another because they are deeply rooted in a sense of predictability which lowers fear, provides comfort and can lower stress. The Counseling & Wellness Center of Pittsburgh defines a ritual of connection as specific times of interaction both informal and formal, that help couples come together, build intimacy, deepen their connection and create shared meaning in their relationship. They go on to say that these rituals are important in creating a healthy sense of anticipation, expectation and oneness in the relationship. Michelle…
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An Attitude of Gratitude
Many years ago, we attended a meeting which began with a presentation titled, “Having an Attitude of Gratitude.” Through the course of that day, we learned that gratitude is ever so much more than a feeling. Gratitude is also a decision. We can choose an attitude of gratitude. We can decide to be grateful even during difficult and painful times. Over the years, we have experienced the difference being grateful makes in our lives and in our relationship.
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Our “One of a Kind” Marriage
Our marriage is one of a kind. While we’re two people who have come from different places, we put together our past and present influences to become something new.
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Summertime Marriage
When you think about summertime, does your mind turn to thoughts of free time, relaxation, fun, and light-heartedness? Marriage can be like summer in all these ways, but it can also go through times muddled by little slights that build to bigger ones, times when we are really at odds with one another, and also times of renewed commitment and hope. These stages are like the seasons of the year in nature.
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What is Love Asking of Me Now?
Michelle: Several years ago, a friend of mine shared that during a crashing disappointment in her relationship, her therapist suggested that she ask herself, “What is love asking of me now?” My friend shared that despite her instinct to move away from heartache, love was asking her to stretch in a way that she never had before. With several challenges in our lives, Chris and I have found ourselves asking this very question, “What is love asking of me now?” When I received a phone call from a friend of mine, sharing that her daughter died by suicide, I found myself wanting to allow the cloud of gray to recolor…
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Total Eclipse of the Heart
Julie Did you see the Great American Eclipse? If you were able to experience this rare cosmic phenomenon, you were lucky indeed. It was truly beyond description and way cooler than we’d ever imagined (literally as well – the temp dropped about 20 degrees during totality). A day later, Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is still running around in my head…and I don’t mind. But what I do mind is that I had a total eclipse of the heart in how I behaved towards John that day.
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Love & Respect
Making generalized statements about men or women can be risky. But there’s one generalization that seems to apply to most of us. A few years ago, we went to a marriage enrichment on the topic of Love & Respect. It was based on a book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (“Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs”), a New York Times best seller. The premise of this book is that men (in general) need to be respected, while women (in general) need to feel loved. Disagreeing Respectfully JANINE: Eggerichs points out that when a husband feels disrespected, it could just as well be translated as…
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The Super-Power of Affirmation
JULIE: I’m not a superhero. While I can’t fly faster than a speeding bullet, make myself invisible, or read people’s minds, I CAN harness the super-power of affirmation by telling John the numerous reasons he is special to me or the many traits I admire in him. Never underestimate the super-power of affirmation to build up your spouse and enhance your relationship.
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Ahh, Leap Year, 366 Days to Love Your Lover
Happy Valentines Day to Our Readers! Leap Year is a gift! An extra day to Love Your Lover. If you are reading this on Monday, you may be scrambling to find roses that won’t cost a small fortune for Valentine’s Day or find a babysitter for that special dinner. Good Luck! If you are reading this on Saturday morning over a cup of coffee and that fancy Valentine’s date is a warm glow in the rear-view mirror, Read on.
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The Busy Train
Julie All Aboard! We pile in the Busy Train and hang on for dear life, John in one car and me in another. The scenery flies by, until it becomes a blur. Distracted by responsibilities and commitments, we see each other only in passing. We talk at meals, but not about much, and not for long – too much to do! Cuddle time flies out the window as we work late into the night and then get up and do it all over again the next day. Stop the train! I want to get off!
