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Peeling the Onion of Intimacy in Marriage
Do you feel disconnected or lonely in your marriage? Let’s talk about Peeling the Onion of Emotional Intimacy.
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Our “One of a Kind” Marriage
Our marriage is one of a kind. While we’re two people who have come from different places, we put together our past and present influences to become something new. Looking Inside My Family of Origin Jen: Family of origin has had a strong influence on our marriage. My parents stayed married throughout my childhood. I saw elements of disharmony, but since my parents were still together, I brushed off any worry. When I was in college, my parents divorced. The disharmony had gotten worse over time, and I figured this must be the natural progression of marriage. I met Nick not long after my parents split, and we got serious…
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Little Things
JULIE “Little Things Mean a Lot” was one of my mom’s favorite songs. It starts off like this: “Blow me a kiss from across the roomSay I look nice when I’m notTouch my hair as you pass my chairLittle things mean a lot” These timeless lyrics are spot on – little things DO mean a lot. I do many little things for John throughout the day. I can make John’s coffee. I can scratch his head. I can make his favorite meal for dinner. I can put my phone down and listen when he tells me about his day. All of these are little things that when done with great…
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Our Anti-Resolutions List
Every New Year, articles pop up about making resolutions. This year, we have taken some common resolutions and would like to propose our own list. We are calling it Our Anti-Resolutions List Number Five: One of the most popular resolutions is to travel to NEW places. While we are a big supporter of seeking new adventures, in our anti-resolutions list, we offer, rediscovering the OLD places you have traveled to. Who cares that you always go to the same destination? You don’t live there and something is guaranteed to have changed since you were last there. Ask a local, go for a drive or simply take a walk. Sometimes, when we change how we experience a familiar…
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Our Wedding Vows, Revisited
“One thing I am sure of is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” JULIE We were recently privileged to hear these words spoken by our son, and to witness the teary, smiley, enthusiastic YES that was his now-fiancée’s response. OUR SON IS GETTING MARRIED! WE ARE GETTING A NEW DAUGHTER! Our daughter-in-law-to-be wasn’t the only one who was crying. That moment will forever rank as one of the most beautiful, emotional, joy-filled, and exciting moments we’ve ever experienced.
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Got G.A.M.E?
Chris: I am a golfer. I will golf anytime, any course and with almost anyone. But I am a golfer with G.A.M.E. Allow us to explain. G is for Green Jacket. In golf, the Green Jacket is awarded to the winner of the Masters. In our marriage, I think of the Green Jacket as our wedding day. While I didn’t actually wear a green jacket, I was a true winner the day Michelle said, “I do.” There are only 53 men lucky enough to wear the coveted jacket. Considering that 90-100 people compete each year over the last 83 years, there’s no wonder these jackets are so special. Similarly, when I consider that in the 3.9 billion…
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Love Letters
Julie I recently rediscovered a box of love letters that my parents wrote to each other. My dad had given them to me after my mom died. My dad was drafted into the army when he and my mom were still newlyweds. There was no email, no texting, no Facetime. There was only a brief Sunday phone call and love letters Monday through Saturday. These letters were mostly about details of daily life, but they were also filled with expressions of love and longing to be together again. Their arrival was a daily reminder of their love and the commitment they had made to each other.
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In Sickness and In Health
Julie: I’m sick. And tired. And sick and tired of being sick and tired AGAIN. I’m basically allergic to life, which causes frequent infections and debilitating migraine headaches. John knew all this when he married me, and he cheerfully vowed to love me “in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live.” I’m pretty sure he had no idea what he was getting himself into.
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Us Against the World
Marriage is not a 50 / 50 proposition. The weight of responsibility in marriage will vary unevenly between husband and wife from day to day. But what do we do when the load is not balanced for a long time or when we both don’t have much left to give each other?
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Recreating Your Relationship
JOHN: We just returned from two separate camping trips about a week apart. The first was the annual family camping trip with our young adult kids in the tent with us and 17 members of the extended family on nearby sites. The second was just the two of us. Wow, what a difference! While we love spending 24/7 time with our kids and extended family, we also love the calm and freedom that come with camping as a couple. It reminds us fondly of our early years together.
