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Hurkle-durkling As Emotional Foreplay
Whether it be a lazy mid-April morning with a blanket of snow or a 60-degree day in December, any day is a perfect day to Hurkle-durkle. Think of it as Emotional Foreplay which begins as soon as we open our eyes to each other at the onset of a new day.
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Time-out!
Julie: Let’s be honest—life gets busy. Between work, kids, errands, and the never-ending to-do list, it’s so easy for your marriage to slip down your list of priorities. You’re not alone if you’ve ever looked at your spouse at the end of a long day and realized you haven’t really connected, maybe not even had a real conversation, in days or even weeks. But here’s the thing – taking a time-out for your marriage isn’t just something that’s nice to do. It’s the foundation that keeps everything else in your life running smoothly.
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The World Turned Upside-Down
September 11, 2001. March 25, 2016. November 24, 2024. September 28, 2025. These are days when time stood still and our world suddenly turned upside-down. There have been others, for sure, but these have been some of the most difficult days we’ve had to deal with in our 34 years of marriage. Julie: September 11 needs no explanation. March 25 is the day my mom took her last breath after 3 months in the ICU after a failed surgery. On November 24, John’s dad lost his battle with Alzheimer’s. And September 28 was the day we were told to leave our church and get home to safety as an active…
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Experiencing a Sunset: A Daily Inspiration
What is it about a sunset? How is it that this ordinary daily event inspires artists, musicians, and writers throughout the world? If the photo app on our phone is any indication, there surely is something about a sunset. Sitting on a beach together, gazing over the mountains, or simply sitting on our home deck after dinner, sunsets always seem to transport the two of us to a sacred place. Wonder and Awe Karen: We just returned from a vacation with our extended family. Scott and I had the opportunity to watch the sunset with most of our children and grandchildren. After a day filled with action-packed activities,…
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Someday Your Children Will Leave Home
“Someday, all of you children will leave home, and Dad and I will still be here. It is important that we still know each other when that day comes.” “Why Can’t We Go?” Karen: This sentence was included in the eulogy I delivered at my mom’s funeral this past week. I recalled how mom married very young (seventeen!) and had six children in quick succession. To provide for our quickly growing family, my dad worked two jobs. Most of the parenting duties and family management were heaped on mom. And though those duties filled her days to the brim, mom never stopped being a wife. I recall many times watching…
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You’re the Inspiration
There’s a cheesy ‘80s song by Chicago called “You’re the Inspiration.” It was the wedding dance of thousands of couples in the 80s. Now that the song is in your head, what are the words you remember? Probably… “You’re the meaning in my life. You’re in the inspiration…”
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Everything We Need to Know We Learned…From a Baby?
Grandparenthood has been all we dreamed it would be – and more. We have loved every moment! Our grandson is nearly 7 months old and changing rapidly. He is learning new things every day. As he lay peacefully sleeping in my arms recharging his little batteries, it dawned on me that he isn’t the only one learning. In many ways, the student has become the teacher. We have learned so much from our little guy!
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We Don’t Talk about That
What’s the one thing (or things) you and your spouse don’t talk about? Maybe it’s money, in-laws, or sex? Uncomfortable Topics JANINE: Sometimes I avoid talking to Ken about how I spend my time. I want him to see me as responsible and productive. When I’m lazy or judge that I haven’t accomplished enough, I feel guilty and frustrated with myself. I don’t want to talk to Ken about this because I’m scared he might agree with my judgment of myself as being lazy. I cover up my guilt by making excuses. I put up an extra layer of protection by portraying an attitude of ‘I’m tough and have everything under…
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Opportunities for Intimacy
John Over the years, Julie and I have had many opportunities for intimacy – to experience a much greater sense of “into-me-see.” We’re not talking about physical intimacy where we share our bodies, but rather emotional intimacy where we share our hearts and souls. Grabbing onto these opportunities has strengthened our relationship and given it richness, new life, and deeper meaning.
