In Sickness and In Health – Part 2

Matt

When we left off in our last blog, we were looking at our changing roles when one or the other of us may get sick….As our journey continues, we will continue to look at the changing dynamics of our relationship.

Gail

At the beginning of the summer Matt had open heart surgery.  Talk about a lifestyle and relationship change.  With lots of love, understanding and prayer Matt (and I) made it through.  After a few sessions of Cardiac rehab Matt came home all excited “I graduated to being able to lift up to 25Lbs!”  We celebrated and gave thanks for Matt’s continued healing.

Which brings us to our first real trip since Matt is feeling back to his normal (if that really is a thing) Self.

Now anyone who knows me (Gail) knows that there is NO WAY my bag will weigh less than 35lbs at the minimum and clearly over the 25 lb. limit set by Matt’s doctors. Since we are carrying our luggage on (for fear of it not making it all the way to our destination) I planned on making sure our suitcases made it comfortably in the overhead bin with only a little guidance from Matt. Unfortunately, upon arriving at our seats Matt proceeded to pick up my bag and place it in the overhead bin. 

Matt

You know that blood-curdling scream you heard a few days ago?  Well, that was Gail as I grabbed her bag and began to pick it up.  And I now know first-hand the meaning of the phrase “if looks could kill…”.  And if they could, my recent heart surgery would have been all for naught.  This was as our travel started and needless to say, this led to a very chilly start to our trip.

As the weekend went on, this gave me the opportunity to reflect on what happened and look at things from Gail’s perspective.  Rather than saying to myself ‘those guidelines apply to everyone else, not me.  I’m different.  I’ll be OK”, I began to see things through Gail’s eyes.  It occurred to me at those times, she isn’t thinking about ‘everyone else’, she is only concerned about ME.  The other thing that I realized was that my stubbornness was preventing Gail from doing something that she promised she would do, “love me in sickness as well as in health”.  Who was I to rob her of fulfilling this promise?  So, when we boarded the flight on the way home, I calmly and quietly made my way to my seat, sat down and let Gail stow our bags by herself. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t say to myself, “hey I could get used to this.” 

Gail

In our last post, we described ‘In sickness and in health” as a commitment to choose to love every day, even when life looks different than expected.  Sometimes this comes in the form of being the one who lifts the bag and places it into the overhead.  But just as important, it often means being willing to let our spouse be the one to do that, no matter how hard that may be.