Yelping my Spouse-Round Two 

We have plenty of reviewable materials between the two of us that we can Yelp so when we were asked to write another Yelp Review, we jumped at the chance. Here is our Yelp Review-Round Two.

The ‘Quick Target Run

Rating: ⭐ (1/5 Stars) 

Review Title: “It’s a Trap” 

Review by Chris: 

Management pitched the trip to me as, “I need to get some hand sanitizer and tissues. Five minutes, tops!”. We walked through the doors of Target at 2:15 p.m.  By 3:05 p.m., we were looking at the seasonal décor. Our cart had two summer themed throw pillows and a watermelon scented candle. We had also acquired a 24 pack of “vibrant summer” felt tipped pens and two packages of Goldfish crackers. When I pointed out that the time allotment of “5 minutes tops” had been exceeded exponentially AND that our cart lacked the any of the items we had come for, I was told that I was stifling the creative process and how lucky we were to have come before the school supplies were out because we were getting such a great deal. 

Verdict: 

Never, under any circumstances, accept the ‘quick run’ narrative. It is a trap! If you accompany management to Target, bring something to drink, a portable phone charger and rations (because apparently the Goldfish crackers are for later). 

The Grocery Store Liaison

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5 Stars) 

Review Title: Just Follow the List 

Review by Michelle: 

Sent the field agent to the supermarket with a highly detailed, bulleted checklist. I would say that overall, the field agent was able to accomplish the majority of the shopping but seemed to go into panic mode in the produce section and cereal aisle. I received seven text messages with photos of various avocados before a Facetime call, asking for a real-time firmness assessment. The field agent proceeded with, “While I have you, do you want Roma tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, hot-house tomatoes or organic tomatoes?” When asked what kind of tomatoes we always have, the field agent proceeded to pick up several Roma tomatoes, asking if the firmness factor is the same as it is with avocados. With that crisis averted, I received another panicked phone call from the cereal aisle stating that the cereal he had been sent for was out in the small box and would a family-sized box be too big for us since we are now only feeding each other. 

Verdict: The field agent was able to successfully return with 90% of the list checked off. He also got a dark chocolate bar and flowers (not on the list but greatly appreciated) just because. Have decided to rehire for future shopping endeavors but will provide a complete training on fruit selection prior. 

Every marriage has “departments” (areas of specialty). Whether it’s Logistics and Procurement (grocery shopping) or Time and Attendance (Target shopping) we all have areas where we excel and other areas where we should be written up. We believe the secret to a 5-star relationship isn’t running perfect “departments” but rather being able to laugh with one another at our reviews!