Time with Friends

Julie

I just got back from spending time with friends on a long “girls’ weekend.”  I’ve known these amazing women for almost 40 years, significantly longer than I’ve known John.  We had a fantastic time together in Florida reminiscing about those early years together in college as well as catching up with what’s currently happening in our lives.  There is something so indescribably comforting about being with people who knew you when, who suspend all judgment, and who are more like sisters than friends. We really enjoyed being able to rekindle and renew our friendships in person, especially after these past few pandemic-dominated years. 

John

I am very happy that Julie has such wonderful friendships.  I’m thrilled for her that she has opportunities to get together with these friends, even when that means I’ll be “bacheloring it.” My respect and love for Julie grows even stronger as I see what a great friend she is to others.  And I didn’t suffer too badly.   Julie made food for me to enjoy while she was gone.  I enjoyed some male bonding time watching football with my father-in-law and brothers-in-law. I spent time with my parents.

While she was away, Julie sent daily texts and photos and she shared her adventures with me on the phone each night.  I loved experiencing her trip with her in this way.  And when she came home, her kisses seemed even sweeter.  We celebrated being best friends together again by getting reacquainted in the bedroom.  Absence truly can make the heart grow fonder. 😊

Like Julie, I also have a core of “best friends” from my college days of 40+ years ago.  Rather than let jealousy or resentment about time with these friends become an issue for us, we work to find a balance of “guy” and “girl” time by doing things with our friends both individually and as a couple. Our relationship has been so enriched as “her friends” and “my friends” became “our friends.”  It has been just as rewarding to meet new friends over the years with whom we know will be friends for life.

Julie

Our relationship is our greatest priority, but in order to develop life-long friendships with others, we’ve had to focus on them as well.  All relationships need nourishment to grow.  Because we have chosen to nurture friendships with time, attention, compassion, and support, our friend garden is now blooming beautifully.  

Our friends celebrated with us when our kids were born and hugged us when a parent died.  We raised children together and survived teenagers together.  We’ve made it a priority to be there for them when they needed us and we have been rewarded with their love and support when we were struggling.  We have even grown through difficult times when our friend relationships have been temporarily strained, learning through those experiences how we can better handle conflict and challenges together. 

John

As I reflect in this past week of Julie being gone, I have become even more convinced how important time with friends is to us as a couple.  Of course, we both know that our marriage relationship always comes first.  Julie and I started out as friends and now we are truly BFFs. By nurturing our relationships with our outside friends, we have added sparkle and richness to our own life-long friendship and marriage.