Advice From My Future Self

Stop… for just a minute or two. Think of yourself 20 years older than you are now. What advice would the “future you” give you? If “you” could do it all over again, what would “you” have done differently?

A Different Angle

Ken: Perspective is everything. I know there are a lot of things I’d do differently if I could go back in time. But what about my current life… what wisdom from the future could help me see things differently now?

One of my challenges is worrying about the future: where will we be, what will we be doing, when will we retire? I think One thing my future self would tell me is “Stop your #&?!#@ worrying! You can’t predict and can’t change most things. Live your life NOW. Love your wife like there is no tomorrow… because there might not be a tomorrow. Do some planning and saving but put your time and energy into your relationships with the important people in your life (the first of whom is Janine).”

Purpose & Peace

Janine: Okay. 20 years from now, what will I wish I could have accomplished? The first things that come to mind are: to not waste my life, to live up to my full potential, and to stop worrying about what other people think of me. I guess it boils down to finding my purpose and finding peace. For me, this quote hits the mark: “The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.” (William James)

It’s Not All About You

Ken: More advice from my future self about being indecisive and self-centered: “Remember the thing you used to tell your kids as they grew up? ‘Do the right thing.’ Stick with that. Be aware of your feelings, but don’t let them rule your behavior. If you do the right thing, you can sleep at night and worry less about the future. The rest will take care of itself.”

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Janine: Another quote comes to mind: In The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren writes, “The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose.”

Sometimes I throw out grandiose ideas in conversation with Ken, and I say things like, “Maybe I should overhaul the medical insurance system.” Or “Maybe I could revamp our country’s nursing homes so that elderly people could have better care.”

Maybe in the next 20 years I could accomplish something “big,” but not by myself. Having a spouse who can work with me and offer support is a huge gift. Two are better than one. And in our case, I need Ken to help me keep my dreams and goals a bit more realistic. – another gift of being married.

Plan Ahead

If we can imagine ourselves in our last year of life, we can imagine what our regrets might be. We can do a huge favor for our future selves if we focus on the important things in life. May we get a healthy dose of perspective now, so there will be very little to say beyond “Well done!”