-
Lost that Lovin’ feeling?
Has your marriage turned out like you hoped it would? We all come into marriage with expectations, many of which don’t pan out. Janine: I grew up surrounded by my parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents who were all in solid, committed marriages. My Mom and Dad worked side by side, and I admired how they had long conversations about the day’s events and their plans for the future. I expected that someday, my husband and I would also work side by side and enjoy long talks. Ken: Many of the marriages I witnessed as a child were less than ideal. My parents were divorced. I was determined things would be…
-
When It Doesn’t Work Out💔
One of the most jarring things you can experience as a married couple is when someone you love tells you they are getting divorced, especially when it comes unexpectedly. Recently, friends of ours told us they were planning on getting a divorce. Being told this generated a whole host of emotions and judgments.
-
Chat GPT’s Advice about Forgiveness & Healing
KEN: Who else out there has been caught up in the Chat GPT craze? I thought it might be fun to see what Chat GPT has to say about Forgiveness and Healing in Marriage. Here’s what Chat GPT told me… Chat GPT’s Conclusions about Forgiveness and Healing “Forgiveness and healing are essential for any marriage that has experienced hurt or pain. By acknowledging the hurt, practicing empathy, letting go of resentment, being patient, and creating a plan for moving forward, couples can work together to rebuild their relationship and create a stronger, healthier bond. Remember, forgiveness is not always easy, but it is necessary for a happy and fulfilling marriage.”…
-
Is “Being Right” Really Right?
John: “Being right” is a quality that I find irresistible. I often feel compelled to establish my “rightness” about something, even when I have that small voice of conscience telling me that adopting that attitude can be hurtful to Julie and our relationship. This can crop up in small everyday little things, like the best route to take on a local drive, or bigger things, like how to handle a difficult situation with a family member or friend. “I’m right,” whether spoken outright or evidenced by my behavior, has caused a lot of dissent in our relationship over the years.
-
The 4 Horsemen
Relationship researcher John Gottman has identified four negative behaviors he calls ‘The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,’ that spell disaster for relationships. Identifying these Four Horsemen is the first step in being able to replace them with healthier behaviors. Turn The Horse Around KEN: As a “see the glass ½ empty” kind of person, it’s easy for me to be critical of Janine. We not only are different sexes but have different personality types and different ways of doing things. As a perfectionist, I have a tendency toward criticizing little things Janine does. This tendency hasn’t disappeared, but I’ve learned what I’m doing and how it negatively affects Janine and our…
-
Old Habits Die Hard
Have you ever fallen into this trap? You have a small disconnect that builds over time and turns into a huge disconnect that takes a lot of work to sort through, but you get through it. Then some time down the road, you start to fall back into whatever habit it was that disconnected you. You realize it and work through it again, but you’re kicking yourself for falling into the same trap. And you think to yourself, ‘why didn’t I learn the lesson the first time?’ Disconnection Jen: We had a disconnect of this sort this past week. I fell into an old habit of bottling up my frustration…
-
Competition vs Unity in Marriage
Are you in competition with your spouse or do you see yourselves as a unified team? Although we don’t consciously think about being in competition with our spouse, our individual interests can sometimes fester into competition. Even little things like who’s turn it is to unload the dishwasher can become a source of irritation. When we compete with each other to get our own way, we both end up getting less and feeling hurt or unloved. When I prioritize “me” over “we,” we clash. Making decisions focused on “we” instead of “me” brings unity AND actually makes both of us happier. If we both give up some control to come…
-
A Clean Slate
A new year is here. A fresh start. A clean slate. Whatever bad things may have happened in 2022 are behind us and we are free to dream about the possibilities of 2023. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could start over TODAY with a clean slate in our marriage?
-
The Empty Nest Revisited
With the holidays right around the corner, our empty nest is about to be repopulated as all of our kids come home for Christmas. While we love having them here, it can cause tension and stress when they forget they are adults and fall back into their familiar patterns as siblings and kids. How do we deal with this so that we can keep the peace in the nest and make merry memories together?
-
In Sickness and In Health
Michelle: Over the course of our married life, we have discovered topics in which we have differing opinions. One such topic is how we respond to being sick. Thankfully, we do not revisit this topic very often but rest assured, it always comes up when one or both of us is sick! Chris: Recently, Michelle woke up with what she described as, “a bit of a scratchy throat”. By lunchtime, it was obvious, she wasn’t feeling well. Later that evening, Michelle was running a fever, coughing and her voice had gone from a sexy Demi Moore voice into more of a Dudley Moore voice. Michelle: While technically, I suppose the symptoms Chris is describing probably would…
