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  • patience
    Behaviors,  Conflict,  Differences,  Forgiveness

    Patience, Patience, Patience!

    October 21, 2024 / 1 Comment

    “Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” Barbara Johnson Julie:  Our daughter-in-law is now 13 days overdue with our first grandchild.  We’ve known he was coming since Feb. 9, the news of his upcoming arrival being my best birthday present ever.  Looking back now, it seems like an eternity – and I’m not the one carrying him!  Patience may be a virtue, but it is certainly not one of mine.  This has been the cause of many rifts between John and me over the years.

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    John and Julie

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  • Communication,  Conflict,  Forgiveness,  Grief,  Passion,  Romance,  Sex

    The Healing Power of Touch

    July 22, 2024 / 1 Comment

    A previous blog explored a super power we all have within us – the Super Power of Affirmation.   But did you know that you possess another Super Power?  It’s the Healing Power of Touch.  Holy Hole in a Doughnut, Batman!  Bet you didn’t know you had all that in you!

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    John and Julie

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  • Conflict,  Forgiveness

    Do You Remember the Last Fight You Had?

    June 16, 2024 / No Comments

    A number of years ago we heard a presentation that began with this question: “Do you remember the last fight you had?” Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, the presenters that day, Good Fights–some thoughts from Drs Les and Leslie Parrott | ajournalofthejourney (wordpress.com) then gave the audience a few minutes to think about it and quickly share their answers with each other. We vividly remember the fight we shared:

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    Scott and Karen

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  • Total eclipse of the heart
    Accountability,  Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Forgiveness,  Stress

    Total Eclipse of the Heart

    April 15, 2024 / 2 Comments

    Julie Did you see the Great American Eclipse?  If you were able to experience this rare cosmic phenomenon, you were lucky indeed.  It was truly beyond description and way cooler than we’d ever imagined (literally as well – the temp dropped about 20 degrees during totality).  A day later, Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is still running around in my head…and I don’t mind.  But what I do mind is that I had a total eclipse of the heart in how I behaved towards John that day.

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    John and Julie

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  • Behaviors,  Communication,  Conflict

    Just Go To Bed

    March 11, 2024 / No Comments

    Chris: As much as we both dislike conflict, we seem to have an uncanny ability to have disagreements at the most inopportune times.  Take, for example, the angry conversation we began about money, moments before our friends came over.  Or the heated discussion we had about being late to things, that I started because we were driving to church, LATE!  And, of course, there have been countless times that we have argued well into the wee hours of the morning, when all we really wanted to do was go to bed.   Michelle: At our wedding shower, people wrote cards to me with their sage marriage advice.  Card after card offered, “Never go to bed…

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    Chris and Michelle

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  • couple with virtual reality goggles
    Conflict,  Differences,  Listening

    Opposing Perspectives

    November 6, 2023 / No Comments

    We can both be in the same room looking at the same situation but have remarkably different responses to whatever is going on.  Our perspective can be clouded by many things. You may think you’ve been kind and loving to your spouse – but later find out that they’re feeling lonely or unloved.  Your spouse may think they were respectful to you, but you think they were being patronizing or condescending. When it comes down to “he said, she said”, it’s possible that neither of you is seeing everything clearly.  How ‘Bout Some Netflix? One of the classic moments from our marriage that demonstrates this was one evening when Ken thought he’d…

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    Ken and Janine

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  • Communication,  Conflict

    Tip of the Iceberg

    October 2, 2023 / No Comments

    KEN:  Some years ago, we noticed a small spot of rust on our car and decided to scrape it off and re-paint it. The more I scraped away at that small rust spot the more I found.  That darn rust had grown like a cancer un-detected for who knows how long.   Just a little crack… JANINE:  A few months ago, I found some tiny cracks on the floorboard in our basement bedroom.  As we looked more carefully, we found mold, and water damage that had likely been going on for a few years.  Needless to say, this led to hours of work on ripping out moldy carpet, walls, landscaping, sealing cracks, and…

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    Ken and Janine

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    Total eclipse of the heart

    Total Eclipse of the Heart

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  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Does He Buy You Avocados

    June 19, 2023 / No Comments

    Chris:  Michelle and I have been married for a while and have had our fair share of ups and downs.  We have also gone through a lot of things together, some of which tested her patience with me and mine with her.  But our marriage is a partnership.  One in which I accept the differences between us as well as the little things that can drive me crazy, knowing she will do the same.   Michelle: Recently, our twenty-five year old daughter and I were talking.  I told her, I had some great new marriage advice: Marry the man that buys you avocados. This may sound like strange advice, but here’s…

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    Chris and Michelle

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  • couple facing away from each other
    Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Happiness,  Perseverance

    Lost that Lovin’ feeling?

    May 29, 2023 / 2 Comments

    Has your marriage turned out like you hoped it would?  We all come into marriage with expectations, many of which don’t pan out. Janine:  I grew up surrounded by my parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents who were all in solid, committed marriages.  My Mom and Dad worked side by side, and I admired how they had long conversations about the day’s events and their plans for the future.  I expected that someday, my husband and I would also work side by side and enjoy long talks.   Ken:  Many of the marriages I witnessed as a child were less than ideal. My parents were divorced. I was determined things would be…

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    Ken and Janine

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    When It Doesn’t Work Out💔

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    Competition vs Unity in Marriage

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  • Conflict,  Stress

    When It Doesn’t Work Out💔

    May 15, 2023 / 1 Comment

    One of the most jarring things you can experience as a married couple is when someone you love tells you they are getting divorced, especially when it comes unexpectedly. Recently, friends of ours told us they were planning on getting a divorce. Being told this generated a whole host of emotions and judgments.

    Read More
    Nick and Jen

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