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Old Habits Die Hard
Have you ever fallen into this trap? You have a small disconnect that builds over time and turns into a huge disconnect that takes a lot of work to sort through, but you get through it. Then some time down the road, you start to fall back into whatever habit it was that disconnected you. You realize it and work through it again, but you’re kicking yourself for falling into the same trap. And you think to yourself, ‘why didn’t I learn the lesson the first time?’ Disconnection Jen: We had a disconnect of this sort this past week. I fell into an old habit of bottling up my frustration…
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Competition vs Unity in Marriage
Are you in competition with your spouse or do you see yourselves as a unified team? Although we don’t consciously think about being in competition with our spouse, our individual interests can sometimes fester into competition. Even little things like who’s turn it is to unload the dishwasher can become a source of irritation. When we compete with each other to get our own way, we both end up getting less and feeling hurt or unloved. When I prioritize “me” over “we,” we clash. Making decisions focused on “we” instead of “me” brings unity AND actually makes both of us happier. If we both give up some control to come…
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A Clean Slate
A new year is here. A fresh start. A clean slate. Whatever bad things may have happened in 2022 are behind us and we are free to dream about the possibilities of 2023. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could start over TODAY with a clean slate in our marriage?
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The Empty Nest Revisited
With the holidays right around the corner, our empty nest is about to be repopulated as all of our kids come home for Christmas. While we love having them here, it can cause tension and stress when they forget they are adults and fall back into their familiar patterns as siblings and kids. How do we deal with this so that we can keep the peace in the nest and make merry memories together?
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In Sickness and In Health
Michelle: Over the course of our married life, we have discovered topics in which we have differing opinions. One such topic is how we respond to being sick. Thankfully, we do not revisit this topic very often but rest assured, it always comes up when one or both of us is sick! Chris: Recently, Michelle woke up with what she described as, “a bit of a scratchy throat”. By lunchtime, it was obvious, she wasn’t feeling well. Later that evening, Michelle was running a fever, coughing and her voice had gone from a sexy Demi Moore voice into more of a Dudley Moore voice. Michelle: While technically, I suppose the symptoms Chris is describing probably would…
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Boomerang Baby
“Mom and Dad, would it be ok if I moved home for a while?” These words were the start of a brand-new chapter in our life. Good-bye empty nest, hello boomerang baby.
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Is There Technoference in Your Marriage?
Recently, we read an article and learned a new word – “Technoference.” This word “refers to the interruptions in interpersonal communication caused by attention paid to personal tech devices.” Although we hadn’t heard of this word, we knew instantly that ‘Technoference’ is an issue in our marriage. But Technology Is Useful… Most of the time, using our phones is not a big deal… technology is very useful. We love getting videos or pictures from our family. We couldn’t do our jobs, keep in touch with others, or find our way around a new city without our phones. However… Every once in a while, the phone in front of our spouse’s…
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Making Decisions as a Couple is a 3-Legged Race
We make several thousand decisions a day. Most are based on experience and intuition — like putting your pants on one leg at a time. But making decisions as a couple requires skill, like a 3-Legged Race. Here are some tips to cross the finish line with skin and joints intact.
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Marriage is a Minefield
We walked into marriage blissfully unaware of any danger. Although we did get advice from more seasoned couples, nobody warned us that marriage is a minefield. Careless Early Explosions Jen: When we had only been married for about three years, we stepped on one of our first big landmines. It started out as a conversation about balancing the checkbook. We took turns with this task and looking at our finances so we both could see how our money was spent, but our perspectives were different. Nick was the main breadwinner while I was the main caretaker at home. Our different responsibilities made us biased to our own perspectives. Instead of…
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Loving Each Other in Spite of Our Differences
It’s no secret. We are different, two unique individuals formed from different backgrounds and experiences. While this frequently leads to us complementing each other, it can sometimes cause us to clash. Loving each other in spite of our differences is a decision we can make to break through these times of conflict.