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I Can’t Change My Spouse
Be honest. How many of us find ourselves wondering “how much better would my marriage be, if not for the obvious shortcomings of the person I’m married to?” If only I could change my spouse! But the hard truth is, I can’t.
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Dream a Little Dream with Me
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” Dr. Seuss July 20, 2020. John: What seemed like an ordinary Monday was anything but, all because of the vows we made to each other exactly 29 years prior. As Julie’s brother called to wish us a happy anniversary, he congratulated us and commented that we were “living the dream.” You know what? He was right. (And two years later, we’re still “living the dream.”)
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Who Wants More Sex?
In pretty much every marriage, there’s one spouse who has a stronger sex drive than the other… Our Journey Ken: Typically, it’s us men who are more interested in sex: that’s how it is for me. I remember attending a marriage conference long ago where a woman raised her hand to ask a question. She explained that SHE wanted to make love more often than her husband, and this was a struggle for them. I couldn’t believe it. I wondered what it would be like to be married to a woman who wanted more sex. Janine: For years, I just didn’t understand why sex was such a big deal. Once…
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Marriage Is a Teeter-Totter Ride
If you’ve spent time on a playground before 2004, you’ve probably hopped on a teeter-totter. Marriage is a teeter-totter ride. It can be relaxing, a gentle give and take. Marriage, like a teeter-totter can also be an experience of thrilling highs and the dizzying feeling of dropping low.
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Be Ready
Chris: When I was a kid, I played whatever season’s sport was up. One year during baseball season, the announcer realized that his typical way of calling batting order, player’s last name followed by ‘at bat’, ‘on deck’, or ‘in the hole’, would not be appropriate given my last name (Seaman). In the hole was quickly modified to ‘be ready’. While I may have been momentarily embarrassed by this obvious (and a little funny) change, the idea of ‘being ready’ stuck with me and has been a mantra of sorts for me throughout my life. The first day I met Michelle, I told her I was going to marry her someday. While she…
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Boomerang Baby
“Mom and Dad, would it be ok if I moved home for a while?” These words were the start of a brand-new chapter in our life. Good-bye empty nest, hello boomerang baby.
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Is There Technoference in Your Marriage?
Recently, we read an article and learned a new word – “Technoference.” This word “refers to the interruptions in interpersonal communication caused by attention paid to personal tech devices.” Although we hadn’t heard of this word, we knew instantly that ‘Technoference’ is an issue in our marriage. But Technology Is Useful… Most of the time, using our phones is not a big deal… technology is very useful. We love getting videos or pictures from our family. We couldn’t do our jobs, keep in touch with others, or find our way around a new city without our phones. However… Every once in a while, the phone in front of our spouse’s…
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My Tip Troll
Chris: Let me begin by saying, I know that my wife is smart, creative and talented. When I tell you the rest of the story, rest assured, it is not because I do not know this. Michelle came to me one afternoon with this phrase, “Hey Babe, I need your advice.” My Tip Troll was delighted. She started to tell me what was going on and I stopped listening about a third of the way in because, quite frankly, my Tip Troll knew exactly what advice to offer. When she finally finished, I was able to share my wisdom. But, to my Troll’s dismay, Michelle shook her head and walked out of the room. Leaving my Troll’s…
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Marriage is a Minefield
We walked into marriage blissfully unaware of any danger. Although we did get advice from more seasoned couples, nobody warned us that marriage is a minefield. Careless Early Explosions Jen: When we had only been married for about three years, we stepped on one of our first big landmines. It started out as a conversation about balancing the checkbook. We took turns with this task and looking at our finances so we both could see how our money was spent, but our perspectives were different. Nick was the main breadwinner while I was the main caretaker at home. Our different responsibilities made us biased to our own perspectives. Instead of…
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The #1 Communication Problem in Marriage
The number one communication problem in marriage is that we do not listen. 80% of couples who seek marriage counseling have issues with communication. Rest assured we are normal — not perfect, but normal.
