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Smiling is a Superpower
Michelle: I think that at some point in every person’s life, they dream about what kind of superhero they might be and what powers they might have. When I was a child, I wasn’t sure what my costume would look like or my catchphrase might be, but when I envisioned myself striking that superhero pose, I was there to turn frowns upside-down! A few years ago, I went to a laughter therapy seminar. During this seminar, the presenter shared that there have been multiple studies regarding smiling and success. In one such study, scientists conducted research over a thirty-year period. They reviewed five hundred student’s yearbook photos and, measuring just the student’s smile, were able…
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Old Habits Die Hard
Have you ever fallen into this trap? You have a small disconnect that builds over time and turns into a huge disconnect that takes a lot of work to sort through, but you get through it. Then some time down the road, you start to fall back into whatever habit it was that disconnected you. You realize it and work through it again, but you’re kicking yourself for falling into the same trap. And you think to yourself, ‘why didn’t I learn the lesson the first time?’ Disconnection Jen: We had a disconnect of this sort this past week. I fell into an old habit of bottling up my frustration…
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Un-Valentine’s Day
Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow! Whether you’re madly scrambling to pick out that perfect card on a picked over rack or you’re on hold for an hour trying to make a dinner reservation for a Valentine’s Day dinner date, you are not alone. The pressure to create the perfect Valentine’s Day is on… often deflating the romance balloon. And while it’s nice to take one day to celebrate your love, what about the other 364 days of the year? What if you celebrated your love in less spectacular Un-Valentine’s Days throughout the year instead?
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Motivation Tank
Does it ever seem that your spouse just doesn’t appreciate you? Do you sometimes lack the motivation to show your spouse that you love them? What’s the missing ingredient? Often, it’s the things we aren’t receiving, like affirmation, appreciation and intentional acts of love. Coincidentally, these are the same things we likely are not giving to our spouse. Some would argue that it’s hard to give when your “motivation tank” is empty. It’s difficult to make the decision to love my spouse, when I’m feeling unloved or unappreciated. What’s my motivation (underlying reason) for expressing love or doing a loving act for my spouse? What’s Your Motivation? Really, what’s my…
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Opposites Don’t Attract — They Attack
Let’s debunk the myth that “Opposites attract” once and for all. We are attracted to our spouse because they complement us. They bring completeness to our lives. In a relationship completeness is more than finding the missing piece to a puzzle. When the puzzle is done, it’s satisfying, but no longer fun and interesting.
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Speaking In Code
Michelle: When our daughter was four, she got out of the car, walked in the house and promptly asked me what a HUHA was. I wasn’t sure what she meant so I asked her where she had heard it. She said that someone cut them off in traffic and that her daddy yelled out the word. I mumbled something about it meaning a bad driver although I had figured out that it was Head Up His/Her As$. Chris: As Taryn got older, we went from spelling out S-A-N-T-A, to non-verbal cues like head nods towards an item or saying something like, “I bet Santa could bring something like this.” As…
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Competition vs Unity in Marriage
Are you in competition with your spouse or do you see yourselves as a unified team? Although we don’t consciously think about being in competition with our spouse, our individual interests can sometimes fester into competition. Even little things like who’s turn it is to unload the dishwasher can become a source of irritation. When we compete with each other to get our own way, we both end up getting less and feeling hurt or unloved. When I prioritize “me” over “we,” we clash. Making decisions focused on “we” instead of “me” brings unity AND actually makes both of us happier. If we both give up some control to come…
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Post-Holidays – Blues or Bliss?🎄📦
The holidays have come and gone. As we’re taking down lights and packing away decorations, we thought we’d take a little time to reflect on how our different attitudes in the post-holiday season impact our relationship.
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A Clean Slate
A new year is here. A fresh start. A clean slate. Whatever bad things may have happened in 2022 are behind us and we are free to dream about the possibilities of 2023. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could start over TODAY with a clean slate in our marriage?
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Have New Year’s Resolutions Become Cliche?
Millions of people make New Year’s resolutions. Some make the same resolution year after year. It doesn’t take statistics to show we are not great at keeping them. Have New Year’s resolutions become cliche? Or are we making the wrong resolutions, or the right resolutions but for the wrong reasons?
