The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Children,  Parenting,  Relatives

    KFC – It’s What’s for Mother’s Day!

    May 4, 2021 / No Comments

    JULIE: Dandelion bouquets.  Homemade breakfast in bed.  Handmade cards splashed with crayon hearts.  Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Wait, what? Let me explain…

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    John and Julie

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    Our Wedding Vows, Revisited

    December 19, 2021

    Time for a Marriage Getaway? “Here’s Yer Sign”

    October 28, 2019

    Empty Nest – Syndrome or Summit?

    February 17, 2020
  • Grief,  Perseverance,  Stress

    April 19th

    April 19, 2021 / 3 Comments

    MICHELLE: For many people, distinct moments in their life stand out as frozen memories.  For example, my dad can remember the smells, the sounds and the clothes he was wearing on the day that John F. Kennedy was shot.  For me, that moment came on April 19, 1995.  I was a student teacher in Norman, Oklahoma.  As I used the restroom early that morning, I heard a loud boom and then tiles began coming loose one by one off the wall onto my lap.  Rushing out of the restroom and back to the classroom, my mentor teacher and I prepared for what we assumed was an earthquake. 

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    Chris and Michelle

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    Out of the Mouth of Babes

    April 16, 2023

    So Over COVID!

    May 25, 2020

    Rewind

    September 26, 2022
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Differences,  Stress,  Time

    3 Steps to End the Bickering

    April 12, 2021 / 1 Comment

    Even the best marriages succumb to nit-picking over how to do the laundry or load the dishwasher.  We differ over asking or not asking for directions and bicker over who’s to blame for being late or how we spend money.  While these quarrels may seem trivial, in reality, they matter and getting to a solution beats bickering any day.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Rule #1 for Resolving Conflict

    November 15, 2020

    5 Reasons You Need a Getaway Without Kids

    January 8, 2024

    Can We Have Some Pickles with That Sandwich?

    September 15, 2020
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    The 5 “P’s” of Constructive Feedback

    March 29, 2021 / No Comments

    Photo Credit:  Ian Schneider (Reprise of post originally published on 09-16-2019) We once read an article on criticism in marriage.  The Author’s bottom line was “don’t do it.”  Even asking: “Can I give you some feedback?” was cautioned against.  Sometimes suggestions given with the best intent with regard to work, chores, relationships with the kids can back fire.  Think back seat driving.  Experience has taught us 5 Key Points for when we just want to give each other a little suggestion.  These 5 simple points set the tone and enable us to let down our defenses and be supportive of each other when offering a little constructive feedback. 

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Couple in bed, woman on phone, husband upset

    Is There Technoference in Your Marriage?

    June 13, 2022
    Taking the Back Roads to a More Intimate Marriage

    Taking The Back Roads

    July 15, 2024

    Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style

    June 10, 2019
  • Conflict,  Perseverance,  Stress

    What Can’t You Afford to Edit out of Your Story?

    March 22, 2021 / 1 Comment

    Michelle: When I was a teenager, I remember coming home after breaking up with a guy and my dad asking me how it went. I gave the inevitable teenage response, “I don’t want to talk about it.” My dad responded, “You don’t have to. But you do need to remember that there are some things in life that you can’t afford to edit out of your story. Is this one of them?”

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    Chris and Michelle

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    Boomerang Baby

    June 20, 2022
    A clean slate

    A Clean Slate

    January 2, 2023

    The Happiest Place on Earth – NOT (this time)

    October 7, 2019
  • Romance

    Remember When…

    March 15, 2021 / 1 Comment

    It’s easy to get lost in our day-to-day. Once we’re out of the honeymoon phase of marriage and real life settles in, we develop routines and patterns of behavior. We become consumed by the here and now, and sometimes we can lose sight of the excitement and passion that brought us together and inspired us to get married in the first place.

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    Nick and Jen

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    Annual Marriage Tune-Up

    August 23, 2020
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    4 Ways to Keep the Sexual Pilot Light Lit

    March 21, 2022
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    Money Can’t Buy Me Love… 😍

    May 23, 2021
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Sex,  Time

    5 Things Men Want

    March 1, 2021 / No Comments

    1. RESPECT: (KEN): When a man is asked, ‘Would you rather be respected or loved?’ most would choose being respected.  In his book Love and Respect, Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency. (JANINE): For years, I didn’t appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect.  I also didn’t understand how hurtful it was when I disrespected him.  When I show Ken respect (by affirming his decisions, avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling ‘loved.’  Another way to say this is: when a man is disrespected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2. SEX: 

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    Ken and Janine

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    Dream a Little Dream With Me

    August 3, 2020

    Dear Younger Us

    May 17, 2021

    3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive

    August 20, 2019
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Differences,  Making Decisions,  Stress

    Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage

    February 21, 2021 / No Comments

    Recently, we attended a work-shop on how to incorporate more positivity into our lives. We were reminded how easily the challenges of life can dominate our thinking. This can be especially true where our couple relationship is concerned. Have you ever thought, “He never gives me any affection” or “She always nags me”?

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Rule #1 for Resolving Conflict

    November 15, 2020

    So Over COVID!

    May 25, 2020

    Just

    August 30, 2021
  • Decision to Love,  Differences,  Stress

    When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream

    February 15, 2021 / No Comments

    For many of us the COVID honeymoon is long over.  Isolation, loss of routines, access to the gym, financial worries, working from home and changing school schedules has had us stretched too thin too long.  We’d rather eat an entire loaf of bread than bake one and if we hear how much someone enjoys the extra time with their kids we’ll scream!  This is COVID Stress.  We’ve all experienced it.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    A Toast

    July 31, 2023

    Reaching Out – Together

    April 20, 2020

    Ready for a Marriage Check-up?

    February 16, 2026
  • Conflict,  Differences

    My (insert cuss word) Valentine

    February 8, 2021 / No Comments

    CHRIS: I knew Michelle was the one from the moment we met. But the thing that made it unquestionable for me was when we went shopping together right after Christmas and the store clerks were busy changing out shelves to Valentine’s Day items. Michelle turned to me and said, “Good grief. If that isn’t the perfect image of how commercial that holiday is…”. I was hooked. She was beautiful, smart and placed absolutely NO value on Valentine’s Day.  Fast forward a few years into our marriage when a simple Valentine’s  gift turned out to be not so simple.

    Read More
    Chris and Michelle

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    Forgiveness & Healing

    August 13, 2018

    Old Habits Die Hard

    February 19, 2023

    The Healing Power of Touch

    July 22, 2024
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