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Dear Younger Us
You don’t have to be married long before you look back at your dating days and reminisce. We got married at the ripe young age of 23 and had our first baby shortly thereafter. Our lives changed dramatically in a short time. Looking back, we don’t regret jumping into family life with both feet, but it’s fun to imagine now what we might have to say to us back then.
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Laughter & Sex… That’s What She Said
Laughter can make hardship more tolerable like the glue that holds a marriage together when everything else is falling apart. Laughter is also a lot like sex. Both are pleasurable, shed calories, build immunity, reduce stress and put a smile on your face all day. Seriously!
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KFC – It’s What’s for Mother’s Day!
JULIE: Dandelion bouquets. Homemade breakfast in bed. Handmade cards splashed with crayon hearts. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Wait, what? Let me explain…
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April 19th
MICHELLE: For many people, distinct moments in their life stand out as frozen memories. For example, my dad can remember the smells, the sounds and the clothes he was wearing on the day that John F. Kennedy was shot. For me, that moment came on April 19, 1995. I was a student teacher in Norman, Oklahoma. As I used the restroom early that morning, I heard a loud boom and then tiles began coming loose one by one off the wall onto my lap. Rushing out of the restroom and back to the classroom, my mentor teacher and I prepared for what we assumed was an earthquake.
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3 Steps to End the Bickering
Even the best marriages succumb to nit-picking over how to do the laundry or load the dishwasher. We differ over asking or not asking for directions and bicker over who’s to blame for being late or how we spend money. While these quarrels may seem trivial, in reality, they matter and getting to a solution beats bickering any day.
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The 5 “P’s” of Constructive Feedback
Photo Credit: Ian Schneider (Reprise of post originally published on 09-16-2019) We once read an article on criticism in marriage. The Author’s bottom line was “don’t do it.” Even asking: “Can I give you some feedback?” was cautioned against. Sometimes suggestions given with the best intent with regard to work, chores, relationships with the kids can back fire. Think back seat driving. Experience has taught us 5 Key Points for when we just want to give each other a little suggestion. These 5 simple points set the tone and enable us to let down our defenses and be supportive of each other when offering a little constructive feedback.
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What Can’t You Afford to Edit out of Your Story?
Michelle: When I was a teenager, I remember coming home after breaking up with a guy and my dad asking me how it went. I gave the inevitable teenage response, “I don’t want to talk about it.” My dad responded, “You don’t have to. But you do need to remember that there are some things in life that you can’t afford to edit out of your story. Is this one of them?”
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Remember When…
It’s easy to get lost in our day-to-day. Once we’re out of the honeymoon phase of marriage and real life settles in, we develop routines and patterns of behavior. We become consumed by the here and now, and sometimes we can lose sight of the excitement and passion that brought us together and inspired us to get married in the first place.
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5 Things Men Want
1. RESPECT: (KEN): When a man is asked, ‘Would you rather be respected or loved?’ most would choose being respected. In his book Love and Respect, Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency. (JANINE): For years, I didn’t appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect. I also didn’t understand how hurtful it was when I disrespected him. When I show Ken respect (by affirming his decisions, avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling ‘loved.’ Another way to say this is: when a man is disrespected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2. SEX:
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Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage
Recently, we attended a work-shop on how to incorporate more positivity into our lives. We were reminded how easily the challenges of life can dominate our thinking. This can be especially true where our couple relationship is concerned. Have you ever thought, “He never gives me any affection” or “She always nags me”?
