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Advice From My Future Self
Stop… for just a minute or two. Think of yourself 20 years older than you are now. What advice would the “future you” give you? If “you” could do it all over again, what would “you” have done differently? A Different Angle Ken: Perspective is everything. I know there are a lot of things I’d do differently if I could go back in time. But what about my current life… what wisdom from the future could help me see things differently now? One of my challenges is worrying about the future: where will we be, what will we be doing, when will we retire? I think One thing my future…
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Dream a Little Dream with Me
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” Dr. Seuss July 20, 2020. John: What seemed like an ordinary Monday was anything but, all because of the vows we made to each other exactly 29 years prior. As Julie’s brother called to wish us a happy anniversary, he congratulated us and commented that we were “living the dream.” You know what? He was right. (And two years later, we’re still “living the dream.”)
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Marriage Is a Teeter-Totter Ride
If you’ve spent time on a playground before 2004, you’ve probably hopped on a teeter-totter. Marriage is a teeter-totter ride. It can be relaxing, a gentle give and take. Marriage, like a teeter-totter can also be an experience of thrilling highs and the dizzying feeling of dropping low.
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Making Decisions as a Couple is a 3-Legged Race
We make several thousand decisions a day. Most are based on experience and intuition — like putting your pants on one leg at a time. But making decisions as a couple requires skill, like a 3-Legged Race. Here are some tips to cross the finish line with skin and joints intact.
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The Spontaneity Spark
Julie John and I are both planners. We make lists and spreadsheets for everything. We research every option before making a decision. We weigh the pros and cons. Spontaneity is not something that comes naturally to either of us as individuals or to us as a couple.
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4 Steps to Resolve Disagreements in Marriage
This week we decided to share something we clipped out of a newspaper a few years ago with the title: How to Resolve Disagreements in Marriage, by Nina Chen, Ph.D. A quick google search led us to the online version here: http://missourifamilies.org/features/divorcearticles/divorcefeature45.htm Here’s what Dr. Chen, a Human Development Specialist with the University of Missouri Extension, has to say: “There is no perfect marriage. Even happy, healthy marriages involve some conflict from time to time. Conflict is a normal part of sharing life with someone else. The key is to know how to deal with disagreement and conflict in a constructive way. These steps can help: 1. Set a specific…
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Our Anti-Resolutions List
Every New Year, articles pop up about making resolutions. This year, we have taken some common resolutions and would like to propose our own list. We are calling it Our Anti-Resolutions List Number Five: One of the most popular resolutions is to travel to NEW places. While we are a big supporter of seeking new adventures, in our anti-resolutions list, we offer, rediscovering the OLD places you have traveled to. Who cares that you always go to the same destination? You don’t live there and something is guaranteed to have changed since you were last there. Ask a local, go for a drive or simply take a walk. Sometimes, when we change how we experience a familiar…
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Co-parenting My Child
People have asked us how we work out parenting, including co-parenting a child from a previous marriage. Julie: Decisions can be harder when it’s “my family” or “your family”. When we dated, Rick said he admired my parenting skills. I was parented with little to no punishment for wrong doing or bad decisions. I expected I would raise my family the same way. This was far from what my new husband had expected.
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In Sickness and In Health
Julie: I’m sick. And tired. And sick and tired of being sick and tired AGAIN. I’m basically allergic to life, which causes frequent infections and debilitating migraine headaches. John knew all this when he married me, and he cheerfully vowed to love me “in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live.” I’m pretty sure he had no idea what he was getting himself into.
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Just
Michelle: When our daughter was in the second grade she was asked to write about what her parents did for a living. She wrote three (front and back) pages about Chris’s job as a research scientist. She went on and on about the inner-workings of his day to day life in the lab, entering data and what his research could lead to. As I read, I was proud of the work and influence that Chris had on her and I couldn’t wait to read about my own. However, I began feeling concerned as the pages were becoming fewer and fewer. Then, there it was. The last line of her paper, “And…
