-
Total Eclipse of the Heart
Julie Did you see the Great American Eclipse? If you were able to experience this rare cosmic phenomenon, you were lucky indeed. It was truly beyond description and way cooler than we’d ever imagined (literally as well – the temp dropped about 20 degrees during totality). A day later, Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is still running around in my head…and I don’t mind. But what I do mind is that I had a total eclipse of the heart in how I behaved towards John that day.
-
Body Language
John It’s true – actions do speak louder than words. But body language can speak even louder. It’s easier to recognize how our spoken words and active behaviors affect our relationship. Body language is much more subtle than overt actions, but it does not lie. Body language, just like our verbal language, does need to be clarified, especially when it causes hurt. Things like posture, eye contact, and facial expressions can greatly affect the thermostat of our relationship. By being more conscious and intentional about how we express ourselves through our bodies, we can help that thermostat to stay on the warmer, more loving side rather than on the icy,…
-
Removing the Invisibility Cloak
Chris: When we first moved to Arizona from Oklahoma, I went from an on-site job, to working from home. My being home meant that my “honey-do” list grew, because my wife thought my lack of travel to an office could afford me plenty of time to complete all kinds of projects. Michelle: After a couple of years of living in Arizona, less and less items were being checked off my list. Then, one evening, I came home to find none of my list accomplished. I was frustrated. I remember wondering how he could be home all day and not do any of the items on my list. That evening, we had a conversation that…
-
A Toast
John: Well, it finally happened! The wedding of the century (at least OUR century so far) arrived and now our nuclear family of 5 has become 6! The look on our son’s face was priceless as his beautiful beaming bride turned the corner, walking down the aisle toward him and their future together. A hint of the boy he once was shone through the giant smile of the incredible man he’d become, We knew this would be an emotional day, one filled with joy as our son pledged a lifetime of love and commitment to his beloved and she to him. We weren’t prepared for how deep those emotions would…
-
Chat GPT’s Advice about Forgiveness & Healing
KEN: Who else out there has been caught up in the Chat GPT craze? I thought it might be fun to see what Chat GPT has to say about Forgiveness and Healing in Marriage. Here’s what Chat GPT told me… Chat GPT’s Conclusions about Forgiveness and Healing “Forgiveness and healing are essential for any marriage that has experienced hurt or pain. By acknowledging the hurt, practicing empathy, letting go of resentment, being patient, and creating a plan for moving forward, couples can work together to rebuild their relationship and create a stronger, healthier bond. Remember, forgiveness is not always easy, but it is necessary for a happy and fulfilling marriage.”…
-
The 4 Horsemen
Relationship researcher John Gottman has identified four negative behaviors he calls ‘The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,’ that spell disaster for relationships. Identifying these Four Horsemen is the first step in being able to replace them with healthier behaviors. Turn The Horse Around KEN: As a “see the glass ½ empty” kind of person, it’s easy for me to be critical of Janine. We not only are different sexes but have different personality types and different ways of doing things. As a perfectionist, I have a tendency toward criticizing little things Janine does. This tendency hasn’t disappeared, but I’ve learned what I’m doing and how it negatively affects Janine and our…
-
A Clean Slate
A new year is here. A fresh start. A clean slate. Whatever bad things may have happened in 2022 are behind us and we are free to dream about the possibilities of 2023. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could start over TODAY with a clean slate in our marriage?
-
Making Up is Hard to Do
If you’re married, you’ve experienced conflict with your spouse. It’s inevitable in any relationship. Usually, this happens unintentionally – often over the littlest things. Most conflicts are a result of unmet expectations: I expected “this”, but “that” happened. One, or both of us, ends up feeling disrespected or hurt. Tensions Are Triggers Janine: Years ago, we were expecting company, and I was scurrying around tidying up. Ken asked what he could do to help so I asked him to put away the clean dishes. I then continued dashing around in panic mode because, after all, if the house is a mess our friends might think less of us (especially ME.) 😨 A few minutes went…
-
Our Wedding Vows, Revisited
“One thing I am sure of is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” JULIE We were recently privileged to hear these words spoken by our son, and to witness the teary, smiley, enthusiastic YES that was his now-fiancée’s response. OUR SON IS GETTING MARRIED! WE ARE GETTING A NEW DAUGHTER! Our daughter-in-law-to-be wasn’t the only one who was crying. That moment will forever rank as one of the most beautiful, emotional, joy-filled, and exciting moments we’ve ever experienced.
-
Love Letters
Julie I recently rediscovered a box of love letters that my parents wrote to each other. My dad had given them to me after my mom died. My dad was drafted into the army when he and my mom were still newlyweds. There was no email, no texting, no Facetime. There was only a brief Sunday phone call and love letters Monday through Saturday. These letters were mostly about details of daily life, but they were also filled with expressions of love and longing to be together again. Their arrival was a daily reminder of their love and the commitment they had made to each other.
