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Marriage, Inc.
Before we got married, we thought we were a normal couple. We spoke about our values. We shared our expectations. We went to the required premarital class. But none of that prepared us to have an argument over a glass, a sink, a sock… If you think about it, marriage is less like a fairy tale and more like launching a company. Research says that starting a company is one of the hardest things to do. What they don’t tell you is that getting married is basically the same thing. But for this start-up, your co-founder sleeps in your bed, eats your snacks, and takes feedback very personally. Both parties…
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In Sickness and In Health – Part 2
Matt When we left off in our last blog, we were looking at our changing roles when one or the other of us may get sick….As our journey continues, we will continue to look at the changing dynamics of our relationship. Gail At the beginning of the summer Matt had open heart surgery. Talk about a lifestyle and relationship change. With lots of love, understanding and prayer Matt (and I) made it through. After a few sessions of Cardiac rehab Matt came home all excited “I graduated to being able to lift up to 25Lbs!” We celebrated and gave thanks for Matt’s continued healing. Which brings us to our first…
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Sacrificing vs. Generosity in Marriage: A Paradigm Shift
Sacrificing in marriage can lead to resentment. A paradigm shift to reciprocal acts of generosity can help to heal resentment.
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Wash War I
Michelle: One evening after dinner was over and the dishes had been washed; I went to the sink to get a glass of water. I was shocked to find that the sink had not been rinsed out, and food particles were beginning to form small islands. I very intentionally and very breezily said, “Hey, next time you do the dishes, can you make sure to rinse the sink?” Chris: What I heard, “Hey, you did the dishes wrong.” How I responded, “Next time, I will leave the dishes for you to do since you always do them perfectly and therefore, we know the task will be completed to perfection.” As…
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After the Thrill is Gone . . . How Do We Make Love Stay?
We recently heard the songs After the Thrill is Gone (Eagles) and Make Love Stay (Dan Fogelberg) and they have been an ear-worm, and source of reminiscing for us. Youth never imagines the thrill being gone, but it happens to all of us.
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Opposites Attract
Michelle: I love watching Dancing with the Stars. Chris: I love watching Ghost Hunters and I hate that I know the pros, past and present, who have been on Dancing with the Stars. Michelle: One of the pros, Mark Ballas, sings with his wife when he is not performing or rehearsing for a Tuesday night show. Chris: One afternoon, Michelle sent me the song, Highs and Lows, by Alexander Jean (the band formed by Mark Ballas and his wife Brittney Jean). Michelle sent it with a text that read, “This is so us.” Michelle: I remember as a child, hearing that opposites attract and being confused by the concept. My…
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Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice
Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.
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Haven’t we had this fight before?
Jen: Life, kids, work and extra-curricular activities suck up so much of our energy each day, that when it comes to interacting with each other, we are often at the end of our rope. When we are having a disagreement we’ve had more than once, I feel worn down and don’t want to deal with it.
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Baking Bread and Marriage: Surprising Similarities
Recently a friend offered us a tablespoon of her sourdough starter. And we came to discover that baking bread and marriage have some surprising similarities. The Process Karen: I knew that accepting this little bit of sourdough starter came with a lot of responsibility. It would need to be fed on a regular basis and provided a warm environment in which to grow. We would have to observe this dough using all our senses. Does it look frothy and bubbly… feel stretchy… smell just the right amount of yeasty? On occasion we would need to discard some of the starter before feeding to keep it from becoming too sour. It…
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The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage
Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the 7 best things we’ve done that have had the biggest impact on our marriage… 1. Love Languages The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.” We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them, but it doesn’t necessarily translate into him/her feeling loved….IF we’re not speaking THEIR language. When we read this short book together and learned to speak each other’s language, it was a game changer for us. To learn more, read: What Language are you Speaking? 2. Finances Get on the Same Page…
