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Have a Blessed Holy Week
From all of us at the Couples Post, we hope you have a blessed Holy Week!
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Top 10 Tips to Ruin Your Marriage
1. Put the Relationship on Autopilot Stop dating your spouse. Stop pursuing. You’ve won them, haven’t you? Transition into roommate mode. Cultivate separate lives, separate friends even separate interests. The marriage will take care of itself, the way houseplants do when you don’t water them. 😜 2. Stop Saying Thank You – It’s Overrated. Gratitude is for new relationships and people who are still trying to impress each other. Your spouse should know they’re appreciated. Stop saying thank you for dinner and other small things… it takes too much energy. 😫 3. Keep Score Marriage can be a competitive sport (with no trophy). Keep a mental spreadsheet of every chore, forgotten anniversary, and argument. Have this info at hand during arguments to ensure you always have the upper hand. 4. Outsource Intimacy …
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Lucky in Marriage
A good marriage takes work and commitment, but sometimes we just get Lucky. Just for fun during this week of Irish celebrations and shenanigans we chose to focus on the times when we just got Lucky in Marriage.
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Wash War I
Michelle: One evening after dinner was over and the dishes had been washed; I went to the sink to get a glass of water. I was shocked to find that the sink had not been rinsed out, and food particles were beginning to form small islands. I very intentionally and very breezily said, “Hey, next time you do the dishes, can you make sure to rinse the sink?” Chris: What I heard, “Hey, you did the dishes wrong.” How I responded, “Next time, I will leave the dishes for you to do since you always do them perfectly and therefore, we know the task will be completed to perfection.” As…
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Sleeping with the Loser
Jen – I used to think that every fight had a winner and a loser. When you think about this in the context of marriage, it means that after a fight, someone has to sleep with the loser. We propose that there is a better way to fight so that both spouses win.
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Behaviors, Communication, Conflict, Decision to Love, Forgiveness, Growth, Happiness, Perseverance, Resilience
Marriage – the Olympics of Relationships
Julie: John and I have really enjoyed watching the Olympics these past couple of weeks. Medals are won by fractions of a second. Partnerships are tested under pressure. Expectations run high. There is disappointment and elation. Marriage is the Olympics of Relationships. Both require preparation, endurance, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to something bigger than yourself.
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Ready for a Marriage Check-up?
If someone asks, “How’s your marriage?” how would you answer? It’s hard to give an objective answer. This week, we offer a short quiz you can take to evaluate how things are going in your marriage. Before we can move toward the goal of a better marriage, we need to know where we are currently. Doing this Marriage Check-up exercise helped us take stock of how we were doing. Here’s what we learned… We had a couple areas where Ken’s scores were higher than Janine’s (or vice-versa) – Parenting and Spirituality. We agreed the area where we struggle the most as a couple was Conflict Resolution. This all led to some…
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After the Thrill is Gone . . . How Do We Make Love Stay?
We recently heard the songs After the Thrill is Gone (Eagles) and Make Love Stay (Dan Fogelberg) and they have been an ear-worm, and source of reminiscing for us. Youth never imagines the thrill being gone, but it happens to all of us.
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Emotional Baggage
Chris: Recently, while returning home from a trip, the wheel of our suitcase broke. It was the last leg of the trip and both of us looked at our suitcase like it had failed us in some way. We were tired from traveling all day and the last thing we wanted to do was have to switch back and forth, carrying a broken suitcase through the airport. So, in that moment, the easiest thing to do was to blame the suitcase for being faulty. We both had convinced ourselves that it was a bad suitcase and how could the company put out something so awful. Never mind that we had…
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Stages
Having kids comes with stages. There’s the infant-baby stage, the toddler stage, the school-age stage, the teenage stage, and the adult stage. Each of these stages presents its own set of challenges in our married relationship.
