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Knowing and Loving
Back in 1958, a group known as The Teddy Bears recorded the song, “To Know Him is to Love Him.” To Know Him Is To Love Him (youtube.com) It’s kind of a schmaltzy ballad, to be sure, but thinking of the title of the song causes us to wonder: how many of us really know our spouse… really know them…beyond “The Newlywed Game” know them? Do we know their innermost thoughts and feelings, their joys and sorrows, griefs and anxieties, hopes and dreams? The Journal Karen: Many years ago, my parents gave me a diary for my 12th birthday. I filled that little book with all the typical adolescent girl…
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Big Challenges, Big Rewards
John How often do you as husband and wife take on challenging tasks together? What has been your experience when you do? Julie and I recently took on organizing a regional Worldwide Marriage Encounter convention for over three hundred people in a city a couple of hours away. We knew going in that this was going to be stressful, tiring, complicated, and a big challenge, especially as it would be bilingual (which we are not) and include a Children’s Program. It would push our limits of confidence and abilities as individuals and as a couple. We also believed that it could be an opportunity for big rewards – to grow…
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The Rituals of Connection
Wikipedia defines rituals as a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions or objects of importance. It goes on to say that rituals forge bonds and help people turn towards one another because they are deeply rooted in a sense of predictability which lowers fear, provides comfort and can lower stress. The Counseling & Wellness Center of Pittsburgh defines a ritual of connection as specific times of interaction both informal and formal, that help couples come together, build intimacy, deepen their connection and create shared meaning in their relationship. They go on to say that these rituals are important in creating a healthy sense of anticipation, expectation and oneness in the relationship. Michelle…
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The Healing Power of Touch
A previous blog explored a super power we all have within us – the Super Power of Affirmation. But did you know that you possess another Super Power? It’s the Healing Power of Touch. Holy Hole in a Doughnut, Batman! Bet you didn’t know you had all that in you!
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Taking The Back Roads
Feeling disconnected from your spouse? Just like exploring scenic back roads, carve out "carefree timelessness" for deep conversations. Learn how simple coffee talks can unlock a universe of understanding and strengthen your marriage.
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What is Love Asking of Me Now?
Michelle: Several years ago, a friend of mine shared that during a crashing disappointment in her relationship, her therapist suggested that she ask herself, “What is love asking of me now?” My friend shared that despite her instinct to move away from heartache, love was asking her to stretch in a way that she never had before. With several challenges in our lives, Chris and I have found ourselves asking this very question, “What is love asking of me now?” When I received a phone call from a friend of mine, sharing that her daughter died by suicide, I found myself wanting to allow the cloud of gray to recolor…
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When In Doubt, Just Get Naked
When we were newlyweds, we heard another couple (married much longer than us) quip a line of advice: “when in doubt, just get naked.” It sounded good to us at the time, and it has only become more relevant since then. Let us explain…
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Total Eclipse of the Heart
Julie Did you see the Great American Eclipse? If you were able to experience this rare cosmic phenomenon, you were lucky indeed. It was truly beyond description and way cooler than we’d ever imagined (literally as well – the temp dropped about 20 degrees during totality). A day later, Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is still running around in my head…and I don’t mind. But what I do mind is that I had a total eclipse of the heart in how I behaved towards John that day.
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Just Go To Bed
Chris: As much as we both dislike conflict, we seem to have an uncanny ability to have disagreements at the most inopportune times. Take, for example, the angry conversation we began about money, moments before our friends came over. Or the heated discussion we had about being late to things, that I started because we were driving to church, LATE! And, of course, there have been countless times that we have argued well into the wee hours of the morning, when all we really wanted to do was go to bed. Michelle: At our wedding shower, people wrote cards to me with their sage marriage advice. Card after card offered, “Never go to bed…
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The Super-Power of Affirmation
JULIE: I’m not a superhero. While I can’t fly faster than a speeding bullet, make myself invisible, or read people’s minds, I CAN harness the super-power of affirmation by telling John the numerous reasons he is special to me or the many traits I admire in him. Never underestimate the super-power of affirmation to build up your spouse and enhance your relationship.
