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My (insert cuss word) Valentine
CHRIS: I knew Michelle was the one from the moment we met. But the thing that made it unquestionable for me was when we went shopping together right after Christmas and the store clerks were busy changing out shelves to Valentine’s Day items. Michelle turned to me and said, “Good grief. If that isn’t the perfect image of how commercial that holiday is…”. I was hooked. She was beautiful, smart and placed absolutely NO value on Valentine’s Day. Fast forward a few years into our marriage when a simple Valentine’s gift turned out to be not so simple.
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Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice
Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.
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Rule #1 for Resolving Conflict
Paul: With our child rearing days behind us, I figured any potential conflict surrounding child rearing was over too. Boy was I mistaken. We took our 3 year old granddaughter with us to the beach for two weeks so she wouldn’t have to be in day care. While we were both looking forward to some quality time with her, I cringed when Stephanie suggested that we run point on potty training her. That’s when the trouble began. My attitude was, “Why do we have do this?” But instead of speaking up, I kept silent.
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8 Ideas to Help Settle Disagreements in Marriage
“I disagree!” “What?!?!” “You don’t understand.” When husbands and wives disagree, things can get tense. We dig in our heels, raise the volume, and let our emotions get the best of us. Arguments can turn into a competition to win (as if anyone every truly “wins” in an argument). Whenever we hear ourselves say, “You always….,” or “You never…,” we know we’re marching down the wrong road. So how can we settle disagreements?
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The Benefit of the Doubt
Courtesy of Pixabay via Pexels The image of a pebble dropped into a still pond is a powerful one for many people. It is a visual representation of the idea that one small act can have a “ripple effect.” It can spread out and be carried across the water of our life and the lives of those around us further than we may perceive. Giving the benefit of the doubt can be that pebble in your relationship with your spouse.
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Annual Marriage Tune-Up
A number of years ago, some friends of ours told us about a little trick they use to keep their marriage healthy, strong, and vibrant. Every year, they pledge to attend some kind of marriage enrichment event together. According to our friends, this does not mean weekend getaways to the beach, skiing, or going to a bed and breakfast together.
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How to FIX Your Spouse
Photo by Alex Jumper Does your spouse do anything that absolutely drives you nuts? Would you like to know how to “fix” them once and for all? Read on.
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Changing Our Dance and Learning to Love It
Photo Credit: John Gibbons on Unsplash Most of us know someone who thrives on change. They love to spice things up. For them, the most maddening phrase is: “but we’ve always done it this way.” The rest of us find security in knowing what we know, doing what we do well and living within our comfort zone. We recently found ourselves at a crossroads in our lives with our medical practice. The writing on the wall said: “Don’t expect to see a change if you aren’t willing to make one.”
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The Elephant in the Living Room
GIF by Kyle Bridgett via Giphy Sometimes you just have to come out and say it. There’s no point avoiding it. There’s an elephant in the living room.
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Listening = Love and Respect
Over the years, we’ve heard a great deal about the importance of listening in marriage. This is one of those things that seems simple enough to understand, but for some reason is really hard to do consistently. The simple fact is that attentive listening is a skill and takes practice and determination. Rather than share the ways to become a better listener (you can find that information just about anywhere), we’d like to share with you some reasons why it is important to each of us to be heard.
