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Listening = Love and Respect
Over the years, we’ve heard a great deal about the importance of listening in marriage. This is one of those things that seems simple enough to understand, but for some reason is really hard to do consistently. The simple fact is that attentive listening is a skill and takes practice and determination. Rather than share the ways to become a better listener (you can find that information just about anywhere), we’d like to share with you some reasons why it is important to each of us to be heard.
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We’re Not Perfect and That’s Normal
You’re scrolling through a social media feed and you see happy selfies, beautiful date nights, a tantalizing plate of chocolate covered strawberries with a caption that says, “My hubby is the best!” You pause and think to yourself, ‘how do they do it?’ Our relationship doesn’t look like that.
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7 Strategies for Coping with Crisis
Ken: For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad… that’s what we signed up for. But when difficulties arise it’s hard to recall the passion we had on our wedding day. If you’re going through hard times right now, how do you find your way through?
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Marriage: Our Security in the Chaos
Paul: Our country and our world has been turned upside down these past few weeks with worry, fear, and anxiety over the Covid-19 pandemic. How does all of this affect the average married couple? How can we thrive instead of merely survive this crisis?
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Love’s Sweet Spot
Photo Credit: Jose Mizrahi on Unsplash Many of you are familiar with theYin-Yang symbol or the phrase “opposites attract.” You know, the eternal optimist vs. the pessimist, the spontaneous adventurer vs. the live by the calendar person. Let’s call them complementary, not opposite. Think: You are the peanut butter to my jelly or the music to my dancing shoes.
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I Married YOU, Not Your Family
Photo by cottonbrofrom Pexels Growing up and getting married means that we leave our family of origin and start a new family. We’re not asked to forget about mom and dad, but we do need to remember that our spousal relationship is important to take care of because it becomes the solid ground where we plant our new roots.
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Scorekeeping in Marriage
“Scorekeeping” in our marriage can lead to resentment. It starts with an attitude of “I deserve more” where we keep a tally of all the things we do for our spouse. “I did the laundry so he should do the dishes.” This is compounded by the fact that men and women keep score differently.
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Got Money Arguments?
When couples have conversations about money, it often leads to disagreements, defensiveness, and arguments. Why is it so difficult to talk about finances? Conversations about money usually aren’t JUST about money. We all have underlying feelings (some very strong) about money. Fear. Insecurity. Resentment. Our past experiences affect how we deal with money. When we talk with our spouse about how to spend or save, all those memories and feelings start to surface.
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Haven’t we had this fight before?
Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels Jen: Life, kids, work and extra-curricular activities suck up so much of our energy each day, that when it comes to interacting with each other, we are often at the end of our rope. When we are having a disagreement we’ve had more than once, I feel worn down and don’t want to deal with it.
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The Happiest Place on Earth – NOT (this time)
We recently went to Disneyland with our adult daughter and our 2 year old granddaughter. All three adults had high hopes for a fun-filled family time at the “happiest” place on earth. When naysayers told us we were crazy for taking a two year old to Disneyland, we scoffed at them. We’ve been there, done this before. But we hadn’t been there, done that with a toddler. The crowds, a cranky toddler, and plenty of unmet expectations led to a communication breakdown that was a debacle for all of us. None of us ended up having much fun and we left a day early.
