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The #1 Communication Problem in Marriage
The number one communication problem in marriage is that we do not listen. 80% of couples who seek marriage counseling have issues with communication. Rest assured we are normal — not perfect, but normal.
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Table Talk
Michelle: For months, I had been telling Chris that the wobbly table needed to be fixed. Each evening, I would come home to find it still wobbled. How could this be? My husband is a carpenter. In my mind, I began to create a story. Chris wants to see how many times I’m going to bring it up. He is just trying to make me mad. Maybe, he doesn’t want to fix the table. I could go on and on with the stories I had…because remember, the table was wobbly for MONTHS. Finally, I made a decision. I was not going to bring the table up again, I just stopped commenting on the table. One morning, we sat down for…
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Not All Habits Are Bad
The word habit is often seen in a negative context. But not all habits are bad and building good habits in your marriage can make you stronger as a couple.
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Candid Chris
Michelle: When I was teaching third grade, one of the assignments I gave my students was to create and write about their own superhero. One of my students, wrote about Buttered Toast Man. A three-pager about a guy whose job it was to save the world from dry toast. What my students didn’t know is that I live with my very own superhero, my husband, Candid Chris. His superpower: tell people hard-hitting truths that they might not want to hear and probably want to acknowledge even less. If I were writing his superhero story, I would include the time that Candid Chris said to our neighbor, “Sure your new car is great, but it…
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Our Anti-Resolutions List
Every New Year, articles pop up about making resolutions. This year, we have taken some common resolutions and would like to propose our own list. We are calling it Our Anti-Resolutions List Number Five: One of the most popular resolutions is to travel to NEW places. While we are a big supporter of seeking new adventures, in our anti-resolutions list, we offer, rediscovering the OLD places you have traveled to. Who cares that you always go to the same destination? You don’t live there and something is guaranteed to have changed since you were last there. Ask a local, go for a drive or simply take a walk. Sometimes, when we change how we experience a familiar…
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Walking Down Memory Lane
Chances are, when you met your spouse, you were already adults. As adults, we are a cumulation of the years we’ve spent living. Our spouse has most likely not known us that entire time. How intrigued are you when you hear stories of your spouse from before you met?
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Letters to Joy
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. In July of 2015, Michelle’s best friend, Joy, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She shared the news via text and after sharing the details she said, “I love you and can’t talk about it right now. Call me later…” Michelle: My response, “This is when living 1,000 miles away becomes really inconvenient. If I were there, I would be taking you to appointments, sitting with you just because and everything in between. I’m here. I will figure out what to do.” As I hit SEND, I had an idea. Joy, I have this crazy plan. Each week, I am going to send you a package like this filled with seven days…
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F.I.N.E.
We all know the scenario . . . How was your day? Fine. Yours? O.K. (Silence . . .). Where’s the remote? There’s no shorter lie than F.I.N.E.
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Just
Michelle: When our daughter was in the second grade she was asked to write about what her parents did for a living. She wrote three (front and back) pages about Chris’s job as a research scientist. She went on and on about the inner-workings of his day to day life in the lab, entering data and what his research could lead to. As I read, I was proud of the work and influence that Chris had on her and I couldn’t wait to read about my own. However, I began feeling concerned as the pages were becoming fewer and fewer. Then, there it was. The last line of her paper, “And…
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Us Against the World
Marriage is not a 50 / 50 proposition. The weight of responsibility in marriage will vary unevenly between husband and wife from day to day. But what do we do when the load is not balanced for a long time or when we both don’t have much left to give each other?
