The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Co-parenting my child
    Children,  Differences,  Making Decisions,  Parenting

    Co-parenting My Child

    October 11, 2021 / No Comments

    People have asked us how we work out parenting, including co-parenting a child from a previous marriage.   Julie: Decisions can be harder when it’s “my family” or “your family”.  When we dated, Rick said he admired my parenting skills. I was parented with little to no punishment for wrong doing or bad decisions.  I expected I would raise my family the same way.  This was far from what my new husband had expected. 

    Read More
    Rick and Julie Nill

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    Was it Bad Parenting or Making Memories?

    October 31, 2022

    I Married YOU, Not Your Family

    February 24, 2020

    Don’t Forget to Laugh

    January 13, 2025
  • Communication,  Differences,  Making Decisions

    Just

    August 30, 2021 / No Comments

    Michelle: When our daughter was in the second grade she was asked to write about what her parents did for a living. She wrote three (front and back) pages about Chris’s job as a research scientist. She went on and on about the inner-workings of his day to day life in the lab, entering data and what his research could lead to.  As I read, I was proud of the work and influence that Chris had on her and I couldn’t wait to read about my own. However, I began feeling concerned as the pages were becoming fewer and fewer. Then, there it was. The last line of her paper, “And…

    Read More
    Chris and Michelle

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    Marriage Wake-Up Calls

    August 7, 2023

    Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage

    February 21, 2021

    3 Life Lessons From the Movie ‘Wicked’

    December 9, 2024
  • Arguing Couple
    Communication,  Conflict,  Differences

    “Just Let Me do That!”

    August 8, 2021 / 2 Comments

    Resentment, frustration, bitterness. Where do these come from? Sometimes, they’re a result of treating our spouse as “inferior” (due to our own attitude of superiority). Superiorities are something we all have, even if we don’t realize it. 

    Read More
    Ken and Janine

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    Common marriage mistakes

    Top 10 Tips to Ruin Your Marriage 

    March 23, 2026
    super-power of affirmation

    The Super-Power of Affirmation

    February 26, 2024
    coffee, pen and paper with text "Ask the right questions"

    F.I.N.E.

    September 6, 2021
  • football Game plan board with hearts and os
    Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Making Decisions,  Romance,  Sex

    The Game of Life

    July 12, 2021 / No Comments

    In the game of life, even with the best laid plans, things going awry isn’t just a possibility – it’s a probability.  It’s how we change the game plan that determines whether we turn it into a touchdown or a turnover.  Here’s the play-by-play of our recent weekend watching our twin 8-year-old nieces: Game plan: Camping in the back yard, complete with campfire and s’mores Actual play: 3 days straight of rain Punt: Making popcorn and watching a movie together Game plan: Going for a big explore in a nearby park and checking out the new playground equipment Actual play: 3 days straight of rain Punt: Crafts and having a…

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    John and Julie

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    How to Resolve Disagreements in Marriage

    June 30, 2025

    Hurtful Attitudes in Marriage

    May 28, 2019

    Uh Oh, I Really Stepped In It Now

    February 16, 2025
  • Trash Talk, arguing over chores
    Communication,  Conflict,  Differences,  Making Decisions,  Relatives

    Trash Talk

    June 20, 2021 / No Comments

    Our first heated “discussion” as a married couple wasn’t about what people call the “important” stuff – our values, family, money, jobs, or kids. Instead, our first “couple argument” was a top of the lungs, door-slamming, Tupperware-throwing, window rattling discussion about – our trash cans. We weren’t discussing color, size, number, or shape of our trash cans. We both pretty much agreed that a trash can is a trash can and should definitely look like a trash can. No issues there. Our fight was about who, of the two of us, would be deemed (for eternity and thereafter) the primary trash can “dragger” each and every week – 52 times…

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    Ken and Janine

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    3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive

    August 20, 2019

    Overcoming Apathy in our Marriage

    October 12, 2020

    Laughter & Sex… That’s What She Said

    May 10, 2021
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Romance,  Sex

    Taking the Easy Road

    June 7, 2021 / No Comments

    Marriage is hard work. Sometimes we make it harder than it needs to be. That’s why this week, we’re going to suggest a way to take the easy road.

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    Nick and Jen

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    Time-out!

    January 19, 2026

    Intentional Marriage — 50 Ways

    October 14, 2019

    Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

    March 4, 2019
  • Cool boy with cash
    Decision to Love,  Differences,  Romance

    Money Can’t Buy Me Love… 😍

    May 23, 2021 / 3 Comments

      Ken: It’s all over the news…. First Jeff Bezos and now Bill Gates have become divorcees. Two of the richest men in the world didn’t find married bliss, so how am I supposed to? How do we find lasting happiness in our marriage? My mom has always said…

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    Ken and Janine

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    Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

    March 4, 2019

    In-Laws or Outlaws?

    February 26, 2019

    The Secret Recipe of Intimacy

    February 11, 2019
  • Communication,  Differences,  Romance

    Dear Younger Us

    May 17, 2021 / No Comments

    You don’t have to be married long before you look back at your dating days and reminisce. We got married at the ripe young age of 23 and had our first baby shortly thereafter. Our lives changed dramatically in a short time. Looking back, we don’t regret jumping into family life with both feet, but it’s fun to imagine now what we might have to say to us back then.

    Read More
    Nick and Jen

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    Dream a Little Dream With Me

    August 3, 2020

    Time for a Marriage Getaway? “Here’s Yer Sign”

    October 28, 2019

    What is Love Asking of Me Now?

    May 6, 2024
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Differences,  Stress,  Time

    3 Steps to End the Bickering

    April 12, 2021 / 1 Comment

    Even the best marriages succumb to nit-picking over how to do the laundry or load the dishwasher.  We differ over asking or not asking for directions and bicker over who’s to blame for being late or how we spend money.  While these quarrels may seem trivial, in reality, they matter and getting to a solution beats bickering any day.

    Read More
    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Words – The Seeds of Life in Marriage

    July 1, 2019

    The Empty Nest Repopulated – 4 Ways to make it Great!

    October 26, 2020
    Taking the Back Roads to a More Intimate Marriage

    Taking The Back Roads

    July 15, 2024
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Sex,  Time

    5 Things Men Want

    March 1, 2021 / No Comments

    1. RESPECT: (KEN): When a man is asked, ‘Would you rather be respected or loved?’ most would choose being respected.  In his book Love and Respect, Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency. (JANINE): For years, I didn’t appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect.  I also didn’t understand how hurtful it was when I disrespected him.  When I show Ken respect (by affirming his decisions, avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling ‘loved.’  Another way to say this is: when a man is disrespected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2. SEX: 

    Read More
    Ken and Janine

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    The Elephant in the Living Room

    June 29, 2020
    signs pointing various directions

    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022

    Play’s The Thing!

    January 26, 2019
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