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Scorekeeping in Marriage
“Scorekeeping” in our marriage can lead to resentment. It starts with an attitude of “I deserve more” where we keep a tally of all the things we do for our spouse. “I did the laundry so he should do the dishes.” This is compounded by the fact that men and women keep score differently.
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Got Money Arguments?
When couples have conversations about money, it often leads to disagreements, defensiveness, and arguments. Why is it so difficult to talk about finances? Conversations about money usually aren’t JUST about money. We all have underlying feelings (some very strong) about money. Fear. Insecurity. Resentment. Our past experiences affect how we deal with money. When we talk with our spouse about how to spend or save, all those memories and feelings start to surface.
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What are you passionate about?
Jen: Passion is defined as an intense desire or enthusiasm for something. In my life, I’m passionate about our children – making sure they are loved and supported, helping them become responsible adults. I’m passionate about my work, helping kids develop a love of reading. I’m also passionate about my hobby of quilting, trying to create art through fabric. All of these things fill me with an intense desire and enthusiasm in varying degrees.
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Affirmations That Will Make Your Heart Soar!
Photo Credit: Peter Boccia on Unsplash In our last post, we shared with you 50 ways to live an Intentional Marriage. This week we want to focus on one — the Power of Affirmation. The effects of self-affirmation and the power of positive thinking are well know in self-help literature. Being affirmed by your spouse elevates this power exponentially. In this post we will talk about what constitutes a good affirmation and why it is so effective, especially in the presence of others.
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Parenting 101 – United We Stand
One of the most challenging things in our marriage was learning to raise responsible, caring, well-adjusted children. Now that our children are adults, we are back to child-rearing mode with our two year old granddaughter who lives with us. Here are 6 lessons we’ve learned.
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Time for a Marriage Getaway? “Here’s Yer Sign”
You proposed. She accepted. White dress, wedding bells. New house, new bills. Kids. Jobs. TV. Internet. Full calendar. What happened? What’s next? Photo by Alyssa Ledesma on Unsplash We thought our marriage was “fine” but we were focused on running from one kid’s sports to the next kid’s music lessons. There wasn’t time for those long talks about our future. Even though we thought the honeymoon would last forever…it didn’t. We were more focused on the kids than on each other. As the romance faded, we gradually became more aware of each others’ flaws. We lost sight of who WE were as a couple.
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Haven’t we had this fight before?
Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels Jen: Life, kids, work and extra-curricular activities suck up so much of our energy each day, that when it comes to interacting with each other, we are often at the end of our rope. When we are having a disagreement we’ve had more than once, I feel worn down and don’t want to deal with it.
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Intentional Marriage — 50 Ways
“Intentional” is a popular buzzword these days. We are intentional in the workplace, in the way we handle our finances, our fitness routine, and the way we raise and discipline our children. The list goes on and on and for good reason. Intentional means to do something deliberately, consciously or with purpose. It means it didn’t happen on a whim; someone planned for it to happen and persisted until it happened.
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The Happiest Place on Earth – NOT (this time)
We recently went to Disneyland with our adult daughter and our 2 year old granddaughter. All three adults had high hopes for a fun-filled family time at the “happiest” place on earth. When naysayers told us we were crazy for taking a two year old to Disneyland, we scoffed at them. We’ve been there, done this before. But we hadn’t been there, done that with a toddler. The crowds, a cranky toddler, and plenty of unmet expectations led to a communication breakdown that was a debacle for all of us. None of us ended up having much fun and we left a day early.
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How We Saved Our Failing Marriage
Paul: We just celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary and we’ve never been happier. But it wasn’t always that way. Around year 7 of our marriage, we began to struggle. And we did what so many married couples do – ignored the warning signs telling ourselves things were not that bad. We swept issues between us under the rug and after another 5 years of sweeping there was no more room under the rug! We were just roommates co-existing in the same household each playing our respective roles.
