The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Communication,  Forgiveness

    Our Ketchup Story

    September 2, 2019 / No Comments

    Janine:  I used to read into everything Ken said – well almost everything.  If he made a simple comment, I often took it as a personal criticism, even though he didn’t intend it to be.  We still talk about the day, years ago, when he said, “Gee, we’re almost out of ketchup.”

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    Ken and Janine

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    Forgiveness & Healing

    August 13, 2018
    Big Challenges, Big Rewards

    Big Challenges, Big Rewards

    September 9, 2024

    Dear Younger Us

    May 17, 2021
  • Children,  Communication,  Parenting,  Time

    3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive

    August 20, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit:  Estee Janssens We hope this summer found you thriving, with plenty of time in the sun to relax and catch up with family and friends.  As these carefree days come to an end, we have some tips to help you continue to thrive. Fall gets busy —

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Keeping Your Marriage Sane While Quarantined

    March 30, 2020

    Quarantine Romance

    April 27, 2020

    Radical non-Parenting

    November 9, 2020
  • Communication,  Finances,  Perseverance

    3 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

    August 5, 2019 / No Comments

    Adapted from: 3 Defenses Against Affairs, by William McKenna People are not getting married in large numbers and why would they? Statistics show that about half of all marriages end in divorce. Television shows and movies often depict marriage in a negative light while leading viewers to celebrate when a character has an affair like it is inevitable and desirable. While no two marriages are exactly alike, there are some very basic and proven ways to “affair-proof” your marriage.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Making Up is Hard to Do

    June 21, 2018
    signs pointing various directions

    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022

    Party Pitfalls

    November 28, 2018
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Time

    Taking Your Marriage on Vacation

    July 29, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Photo by Wilson Sánchez Nine years into marriage, we were planning to leave town to visit family after Mark worked a half day. Mel packed up the kids and the car, and Mark just needed to throw in his suitcase. Mark was delayed several hours at work. By the time we met up, we were both irritated and highly stressed and just

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    Mark and Mel

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    Boy Send Girl love letters by paper airplane

    Love Letters

    November 1, 2021
    signs pointing various directions

    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022

    Can We Have Some Pickles with That Sandwich?

    September 15, 2020
  • Communication

    Tone of Voice – Revisited

    July 22, 2019 / No Comments

    This post originally appeared one year ago, but has been re-posted for those who may have missed it the first time around. Something that we’ve become increasingly aware of in our marriage is how our tone of voice so significantly affects our communication – for better or for worse! It is remarkable how something so seemingly small can make such a huge impact on whether our communication is healthy, productive, and enriching or debilitating, disheartening, and provocative. Believe it or not, tone of voice is huge. WE would go as far as to say tone of voice is at the root of most of the small hurts we experience in…

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Finding Peace

    August 30, 2026

    Peeling the Onion of Intimacy in Marriage

    February 21, 2022

    I Will ROMANCE You Every Day of My Life

    July 25, 2018
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Anger, Over the Top

    July 15, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Photo Credit: Birgit Lengert We all know anger when we see it  — a clenched fist, a raised voice, a sullen look.  Anger can quickly surface and is readily expressed, but often it is a cover up for underlying feelings: 

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    What Happened to the Person I Married?

    January 20, 2020

    Walking Down Memory Lane

    November 7, 2021

    Scorekeeping in Marriage

    December 8, 2019
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Relatives

    Words – The Seeds of Life in Marriage

    July 1, 2019 / No Comments

    Paul: Until recently, I figured it was fine for me to say whatever was on my mind as that meant I was being truthful and authentic with Stephanie. Then it dawned on me that some of those words are hurtful and have the potential to wound her.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Does He Buy You Avocados

    June 19, 2023
    Just Do It

    “Just Do It!”

    September 28, 2026

    In Sickness and In Health

    August 15, 2022
  • Communication,  Conflict

    Phones at the Dinner Table

    June 24, 2019 / 3 Comments

    While out to dinner recently we had a misunderstanding near the end of the meal.  I (Mel) was looking up information on my phone and showing it to Mark.  He was clearly disinterested, and I felt puzzled.

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    Mark and Mel

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    being right

    To Be, or Not To Be…Right?

    September 8, 2025
    coffee, pen and paper with text "Ask the right questions"

    F.I.N.E.

    September 6, 2021

    The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage

    June 3, 2019
  • Communication

    Marriage Manners Matter

    June 17, 2019 / 5 Comments

    Photo Credit: Thought Catalog “Fine!” and “Whatever!”  These 2 powerful words have the incredible potential to bring nearly any discussion to a screeching halt.  They send the insensitive message of “I don’t care. Discussion over.  Period. Full stop!”   As married couples, we have probably used these or similar words.  And, if we have raised children we have probably employed time out, taken the car keys or other forms of discipline. Those 2 little words are not  the focus of this blog.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    We’re Not Perfect and That’s Normal

    May 18, 2020

    Affirmations That Will Make Your Heart Soar!

    November 11, 2019

    The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage

    June 3, 2019
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style

    June 10, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Jimmy Ofisia MF:  One rainy spring weekend we came to a new insight about clutter and our marriage  as we set out to deep clean some closets and cabinets.  “A good weekend to KonMari,” I told Tom.  To which he replied “Kon-what?”  “Time to tidy-up and de-clutter.  Bring on the Joy!”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Table Talk

    April 25, 2022

    My Tip Troll

    May 30, 2022

    Slamming Cupboard Doors

    August 28, 2018
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