The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Communication,  Forgiveness

    Our Ketchup Story

    September 2, 2019 / No Comments

    Janine:  I used to read into everything Ken said – well almost everything.  If he made a simple comment, I often took it as a personal criticism, even though he didn’t intend it to be.  We still talk about the day, years ago, when he said, “Gee, we’re almost out of ketchup.”

    Read More
    Ken and Janine

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    Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

    March 4, 2019

    Ready for a Marriage Check-up?

    February 16, 2026
    tired couple

    Kudos To The Tired Dad

    March 24, 2025
  • Children,  Communication,  Parenting,  Time

    3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive

    August 20, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit:  Estee Janssens We hope this summer found you thriving, with plenty of time in the sun to relax and catch up with family and friends.  As these carefree days come to an end, we have some tips to help you continue to thrive. Fall gets busy —

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    50 Ways to Engage Kids

    January 13, 2020

    Heart Cards

    February 7, 2022

    Can We Have Some Pickles with That Sandwich?

    September 15, 2020
  • Communication,  Finances,  Perseverance

    3 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

    August 5, 2019 / No Comments

    Adapted from: 3 Defenses Against Affairs, by William McKenna People are not getting married in large numbers and why would they? Statistics show that about half of all marriages end in divorce. Television shows and movies often depict marriage in a negative light while leading viewers to celebrate when a character has an affair like it is inevitable and desirable. While no two marriages are exactly alike, there are some very basic and proven ways to “affair-proof” your marriage.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Just

    August 30, 2021

    Affirmations That Will Make Your Heart Soar!

    November 11, 2019

    Listening = Love and Respect

    June 1, 2020
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Time

    Taking Your Marriage on Vacation

    July 29, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Photo by Wilson Sánchez Nine years into marriage, we were planning to leave town to visit family after Mark worked a half day. Mel packed up the kids and the car, and Mark just needed to throw in his suitcase. Mark was delayed several hours at work. By the time we met up, we were both irritated and highly stressed and just

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    Mark and Mel

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    Candid Chris

    March 7, 2022
    Common marriage mistakes

    Top 10 Tips to Ruin Your Marriage 

    March 23, 2026

    I Could Use Some Help!

    September 7, 2020
  • Communication

    Tone of Voice – Revisited

    July 22, 2019 / No Comments

    This post originally appeared one year ago, but has been re-posted for those who may have missed it the first time around. Something that we’ve become increasingly aware of in our marriage is how our tone of voice so significantly affects our communication – for better or for worse! It is remarkable how something so seemingly small can make such a huge impact on whether our communication is healthy, productive, and enriching or debilitating, disheartening, and provocative. Believe it or not, tone of voice is huge. WE would go as far as to say tone of voice is at the root of most of the small hurts we experience in…

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Phones at the Dinner Table

    June 24, 2019
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    Dream a Little Dream with Me

    August 1, 2022

    We Don’t Talk about That

    February 3, 2025
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Anger, Over the Top

    July 15, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Photo Credit: Birgit Lengert We all know anger when we see it  — a clenched fist, a raised voice, a sullen look.  Anger can quickly surface and is readily expressed, but often it is a cover up for underlying feelings: 

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage

    February 21, 2021

    Tip of the Iceberg

    October 2, 2023
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    Beyond biology: Where Do Babies Come From?

    August 3, 2021
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Relatives

    Words – The Seeds of Life in Marriage

    July 1, 2019 / No Comments

    Paul: Until recently, I figured it was fine for me to say whatever was on my mind as that meant I was being truthful and authentic with Stephanie. Then it dawned on me that some of those words are hurtful and have the potential to wound her.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Haven’t we had this fight before?

    October 21, 2019

    Just

    August 30, 2021

    Talk to Me

    February 4, 2019
  • Communication,  Conflict

    Phones at the Dinner Table

    June 24, 2019 / 3 Comments

    While out to dinner recently we had a misunderstanding near the end of the meal.  I (Mel) was looking up information on my phone and showing it to Mark.  He was clearly disinterested, and I felt puzzled.

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    Mark and Mel

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    Our Ketchup Story

    September 2, 2019

    Taking the Easy Road

    June 7, 2021

    Tone of Voice

    July 16, 2018
  • Communication

    Marriage Manners Matter

    June 17, 2019 / 5 Comments

    Photo Credit: Thought Catalog “Fine!” and “Whatever!”  These 2 powerful words have the incredible potential to bring nearly any discussion to a screeching halt.  They send the insensitive message of “I don’t care. Discussion over.  Period. Full stop!”   As married couples, we have probably used these or similar words.  And, if we have raised children we have probably employed time out, taken the car keys or other forms of discipline. Those 2 little words are not  the focus of this blog.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    5 Things Men Want

    March 1, 2021

    There’s An App For That!

    November 19, 2018

    Play’s The Thing!

    January 26, 2019
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style

    June 10, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Jimmy Ofisia MF:  One rainy spring weekend we came to a new insight about clutter and our marriage  as we set out to deep clean some closets and cabinets.  “A good weekend to KonMari,” I told Tom.  To which he replied “Kon-what?”  “Time to tidy-up and de-clutter.  Bring on the Joy!”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Why Go It Alone

    April 3, 2023

    Finding Solid Ground — 7 Steps

    September 29, 2020

    Not All Habits Are Bad

    April 10, 2022
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