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Marriage in 3-D 👓
At the end of this week we will celebrate 27 years of marriage. Since the number 27 is equal to 3³, what better opportunity do we have than now to talk about our marriage in 3-D?
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Marriage is a Minefield
We walked into marriage blissfully unaware of any danger. Although we did get advice from more seasoned couples, nobody warned us that marriage is a minefield. Careless Early Explosions Jen: When we had only been married for about three years, we stepped on one of our first big landmines. It started out as a conversation about balancing the checkbook. We took turns with this task and looking at our finances so we both could see how our money was spent, but our perspectives were different. Nick was the main breadwinner while I was the main caretaker at home. Our different responsibilities made us biased to our own perspectives. Instead of…
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Not All Habits Are Bad
The word habit is often seen in a negative context. But not all habits are bad and building good habits in your marriage can make you stronger as a couple.
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What is the Secret to a Happy Marriage?
Most people don’t start out in marriage thinking “This could be fun for a while, but once it’s not I’ll move on.” When you get married it’s exciting and romantic and fun and interesting. But no marriage is free from challenges and disagreements. There is no magic finish line where there are no challenges in our marriage. The temptation to think such a place exists is one of the biggest dangers of all, because it sets you up for failure.
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Our “One of a Kind” Marriage
Our marriage is one of a kind. While we’re two people who have come from different places, we put together our past and present influences to become something new. Looking Inside My Family of Origin Jen: Family of origin has had a strong influence on our marriage. My parents stayed married throughout my childhood. I saw elements of disharmony, but since my parents were still together, I brushed off any worry. When I was in college, my parents divorced. The disharmony had gotten worse over time, and I figured this must be the natural progression of marriage. I met Nick not long after my parents split, and we got serious…
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Fair is Not Necessarily Equal
A classic line out of any child’s mouth is “It’s not fair!” Children use this line to cover everything from chores to birthday parties to bedtimes. It’s a comparison game, but in the end, fair isn’t necessarily equal.
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Walking Down Memory Lane
Chances are, when you met your spouse, you were already adults. As adults, we are a cumulation of the years we’ve spent living. Our spouse has most likely not known us that entire time. How intrigued are you when you hear stories of your spouse from before you met?
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Are We Broken?
When we are in the middle of a disagreement or are disconnected from one another, we may look around us and only see people doing marriage better than we do it. But no relationship is perfect and every relationship has its struggles. In all likelihood we are broken, but not any more broken than others.
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Us Against the World
Marriage is not a 50 / 50 proposition. The weight of responsibility in marriage will vary unevenly between husband and wife from day to day. But what do we do when the load is not balanced for a long time or when we both don’t have much left to give each other?
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More Than a Piece of Paper
A person once said to us (rather cynically), “Marriage is just a piece of paper.” We disagree. Marriage is about two people creating a life together. A marriage doesn’t just touch the two people in it. It touches their families, their friends, their co-workers, and their children. We have to keep our ‘piece of paper’ intact for the sake of the two of us, but also for the world around us.
