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Summertime Marriage
When you think about summertime, does your mind turn to thoughts of free time, relaxation, fun, and light-heartedness? Marriage can be like summer in all these ways, but it can also go through times muddled by little slights that build to bigger ones, times when we are really at odds with one another, and also times of renewed commitment and hope. These stages are like the seasons of the year in nature.
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Little Wonders
A lot of the time we spend in life is in small moments, rather than big ones. What if, instead of just letting the small moments, the ‘little wonders,’ pass by, we work on savoring and being grateful for as many of them as possible?
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When In Doubt, Just Get Naked
When we were newlyweds, we heard another couple (married much longer than us) quip a line of advice: “when in doubt, just get naked.” It sounded good to us at the time, and it has only become more relevant since then. Let us explain…
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Movie Magic🍿
Many of the couples we know have a favorite movie. It’s usually one you enjoyed together and will pull off the shelf or out of the streaming catalogue once a year or so and revisit. Watching your movie together usually reconnects you to the good feelings and simplicity of the earlier time as well.
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Lessons on Marriage from a Houseplant
About 20 years ago, we received a pothos plant as a gift. This plant has been repotted numerous times. It has survived 4 relocations, including a move from one state to another and has remained resilient in our chaotic home with its five children and several pets. Over time, this pothos has taught us some lessons about how plants thrive. These lessons have helped our marriage thrive, too.
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Are We Scrolling by Our Relationship?
The convenience our smartphones provide has come at a cost that we all feel. We see it when we’re out in public, with people staring at their phones rather than paying attention to their loved ones. One way of recognizing the problem with this comes from Drs. John and Julie Gottman – identifying how we make “bids” for attention from our partners. Paying attention to our cell phones makes it likely we’ll miss those bids and end up hurting each other.
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Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving from the Couples Post! We hope that however you celebrate with your loved ones that you have a wonderful week. We will return with another post next week.
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How Do We Stay Connected When We’re Busy?
“What time are you done working today?” “Why? Is there some place I need to be?” “Well, our son has band practice and all the other drivers in our household are either working or at school, so it’s got to be one of us.” “OK, you take the drop off and I’ll get us ready for the meeting we have to attend…” How many of you have had a conversation like this? It’s a common thing for married people with kids to be pulled in multiple directions and be forced into divide-and-conquer mode. But in the midst of this, how do we stay connected and on the same page as…
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Does Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?
This past week we had to spend time apart as Jen traveled cross-country to spend some time helping her sister. When we spend time apart, there is a natural distance between us. Time apart can put a strain on our relationship. It is the combination of not being together, combined with the stress of travel on the one away and the stress of holding down the fort on the one who stays at home.
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Little Moments in Time
The word summer brings to mind images of relaxing on the beach, swimming in the pool, hiking, picnicking and the like. Every summer we have high hopes that we will get to enjoy some lazy days and lolly-gagging, taking life at a slower pace and relaxing.
