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The Busy Train
Julie All Aboard! We pile in the Busy Train and hang on for dear life, John in one car and me in another. The scenery flies by, until it becomes a blur. Distracted by responsibilities and commitments, we see each other only in passing. We talk at meals, but not about much, and not for long – too much to do! Cuddle time flies out the window as we work late into the night and then get up and do it all over again the next day. Stop the train! I want to get off!
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Body Language
John It’s true – actions do speak louder than words. But body language can speak even louder. It’s easier to recognize how our spoken words and active behaviors affect our relationship. Body language is much more subtle than overt actions, but it does not lie. Body language, just like our verbal language, does need to be clarified, especially when it causes hurt. Things like posture, eye contact, and facial expressions can greatly affect the thermostat of our relationship. By being more conscious and intentional about how we express ourselves through our bodies, we can help that thermostat to stay on the warmer, more loving side rather than on the icy,…
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Just. Do. It.
Julie We just got back from the trip of a lifetime – a safari in Africa. It was an unforgettable experience. The variety of animals we saw, the beautiful landscapes that were so different from ours, the people we encountered, and a taste of the history and culture was something that touched us deeply. But the trip was more than that… It was a celebration of friendship between John and his closest friends. They met on their first day of college years ago and have remained best friends. This was the 60th birthday year for the group and so the plan was hatched about a year and a half ago…
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Finding Joy Through Vulnerability
Julie Vulnerability can be scary. In her book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Uncertainty? Risk? Emotional Exposure? Who wants to sign up for that? Well, actually, we all did when we said, “I do.” In promising to love each other and give ourselves completely to one another, we basically said, “ I will love you even when you are struggling, even when you are weak, even when you are hurting. You are safe with me.”
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A Toast
John: Well, it finally happened! The wedding of the century (at least OUR century so far) arrived and now our nuclear family of 5 has become 6! The look on our son’s face was priceless as his beautiful beaming bride turned the corner, walking down the aisle toward him and their future together. A hint of the boy he once was shone through the giant smile of the incredible man he’d become, We knew this would be an emotional day, one filled with joy as our son pledged a lifetime of love and commitment to his beloved and she to him. We weren’t prepared for how deep those emotions would…
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Money Talk
Julie: 2023 has been the most expensive year we’ve ever had. Even more than when we had a couple of kids in college at the same time. We’ve known it was coming, and, fortunately, we’ve prepared for most of it. In a 12-month period, we will have funded the following: Wedding (groom’s side, so whew!) New roof on the house Replacing siding, shutters, gutters on same house A car Bats in the attic (AGAIN! Even after replacing the roof and siding! Sigh. At least the ants are gone. Click Going to Bat for Your Spouse for more on that.) A deck, which is ready to be condemned Landscaping, which will…
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Contagious Love
Julie: Our son is getting married in six weeks and four days – but who’s counting? He is our first child to tie the knot, and we are beyond excited! Last weekend was our first bridal shower. It was a delight to watch our son and future daughter-in-law as they were showered with gifts and, more importantly, with love from our family and friends. It was a day of joy, fun, and laughter. It even brought a few tears as I thought about my mom and sister and how much they would have loved our daughter-in-law to be and enjoyed celebrating this moment in our son’s life. As I…
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Is “Being Right” Really Right?
John: “Being right” is a quality that I find irresistible. I often feel compelled to establish my “rightness” about something, even when I have that small voice of conscience telling me that adopting that attitude can be hurtful to Julie and our relationship. This can crop up in small everyday little things, like the best route to take on a local drive, or bigger things, like how to handle a difficult situation with a family member or friend. “I’m right,” whether spoken outright or evidenced by my behavior, has caused a lot of dissent in our relationship over the years.
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Un-Valentine’s Day
Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow! Whether you’re madly scrambling to pick out that perfect card on a picked over rack or you’re on hold for an hour trying to make a dinner reservation for a Valentine’s Day dinner date, you are not alone. The pressure to create the perfect Valentine’s Day is on… often deflating the romance balloon. And while it’s nice to take one day to celebrate your love, what about the other 364 days of the year? What if you celebrated your love in less spectacular Un-Valentine’s Days throughout the year instead?
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A Clean Slate
A new year is here. A fresh start. A clean slate. Whatever bad things may have happened in 2022 are behind us and we are free to dream about the possibilities of 2023. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could start over TODAY with a clean slate in our marriage?
