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3 Steps to End the Bickering
Even the best marriages succumb to nit-picking over how to do the laundry or load the dishwasher. We differ over asking or not asking for directions and bicker over who’s to blame for being late or how we spend money. While these quarrels may seem trivial, in reality, they matter and getting to a solution beats bickering any day.
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5 Things Men Want
1. RESPECT: (KEN): When a man is asked, ‘Would you rather be respected or loved?’ most would choose being respected. In his book Love and Respect, Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency. (JANINE): For years, I didn’t appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect. I also didn’t understand how hurtful it was when I disrespected him. When I show Ken respect (by affirming his decisions, avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling ‘loved.’ Another way to say this is: when a man is disrespected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2. SEX:
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Getting More of What You Want in Your Marriage
Recently, we attended a work-shop on how to incorporate more positivity into our lives. We were reminded how easily the challenges of life can dominate our thinking. This can be especially true where our couple relationship is concerned. Have you ever thought, “He never gives me any affection” or “She always nags me”?
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When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream
For many of us the COVID honeymoon is long over. Isolation, loss of routines, access to the gym, financial worries, working from home and changing school schedules has had us stretched too thin too long. We’d rather eat an entire loaf of bread than bake one and if we hear how much someone enjoys the extra time with their kids we’ll scream! This is COVID Stress. We’ve all experienced it.
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My (insert cuss word) Valentine
CHRIS: I knew Michelle was the one from the moment we met. But the thing that made it unquestionable for me was when we went shopping together right after Christmas and the store clerks were busy changing out shelves to Valentine’s Day items. Michelle turned to me and said, “Good grief. If that isn’t the perfect image of how commercial that holiday is…”. I was hooked. She was beautiful, smart and placed absolutely NO value on Valentine’s Day. Fast forward a few years into our marriage when a simple Valentine’s gift turned out to be not so simple.
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Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice
Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.
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The Elf on the Shelf
It’s that time of year – you know, when our kids are all on their best behavior and the most frequent threat you hear parents utter is “Santa is watching!” The latest craze is the Elf on the Shelf. The elf moves around your home, keeping its eye on your kids and causing a little mayhem along the way. Maybe your elf plays a game with a few of the stuffed animals in the house. Perhaps it gets into your cookie jar. Maybe it even spills flour in your kitchen. No matter what, the kids know it’s watching them. So, what if the elf was watching you and your spouse?…
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10 Things Women Want
1) Learn her “Love Language:” And speak it often! (Learn more: What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank’ – her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us. I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.
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A Plea For Real Men
Photo courtesy of Guillaume de Germain We know this is a blog for couples. But GUYS, I (Mark) need to talk to you for a bit. I want to talk you about being a Real Man. I get frustrated when I hear that a real man doesn’t show his feelings or make himself vulnerable, like it is a sign of weakness.
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Rule #1 for Resolving Conflict
Paul: With our child rearing days behind us, I figured any potential conflict surrounding child rearing was over too. Boy was I mistaken. We took our 3 year old granddaughter with us to the beach for two weeks so she wouldn’t have to be in day care. While we were both looking forward to some quality time with her, I cringed when Stephanie suggested that we run point on potty training her. That’s when the trouble began. My attitude was, “Why do we have do this?” But instead of speaking up, I kept silent.
