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A Plea For Real Men
Photo courtesy of Guillaume de Germain We know this is a blog for couples. But GUYS, I (Mark) need to talk to you for a bit. I want to talk you about being a Real Man. I get frustrated when I hear that a real man doesn’t show his feelings or make himself vulnerable, like it is a sign of weakness.
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Rule #1 for Resolving Conflict
Paul: With our child rearing days behind us, I figured any potential conflict surrounding child rearing was over too. Boy was I mistaken. We took our 3 year old granddaughter with us to the beach for two weeks so she wouldn’t have to be in day care. While we were both looking forward to some quality time with her, I cringed when Stephanie suggested that we run point on potty training her. That’s when the trouble began. My attitude was, “Why do we have do this?” But instead of speaking up, I kept silent.
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Stale Crackers
It first struck us when we had to throw away all the crackers in the pantry because they were past their expiration date – it’s been a very, very long time since we’ve entertained a group of friends at home. We usually don’t eat crackers, but we do like to entertain people who might, especially if there are cracker toppings and wine involved. Throwing crackers away was a sad reminder of all the gatherings we would have had but didn’t because of COVID.
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8 Ideas to Help Settle Disagreements in Marriage
“I disagree!” “What?!?!” “You don’t understand.” When husbands and wives disagree, things can get tense. We dig in our heels, raise the volume, and let our emotions get the best of us. Arguments can turn into a competition to win (as if anyone every truly “wins” in an argument). Whenever we hear ourselves say, “You always….,” or “You never…,” we know we’re marching down the wrong road. So how can we settle disagreements?
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Supporting Your Spouse While Maintaining Individuality
Photo by Alexa Williams When we were dating, supporting each other in our hopes and dreams seemed easy. As we get older, it is more difficult at times to set aside our own individual wants and focus on each other’s desires. We’ve noticed that the times we were strongest as a couple were the very times we set our own desires aside in order to support each other in the ways we each needed most.
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Finding Solid Ground — 7 Steps
Fall ushers in beautiful color, long shadows and cooler weather. Parents and kids thrive with the routine of school. This fall is anything but typical as we grow even more weary of the pandemic. We worry about finances and fret as to whether to send kids to school or stay virtual. With wildfires and hurricanes of epic proportion and a looming election, it seems the social fabric of our country is being ripped to shreds. In these stressful times, how do we find solid ground? Photo Credit: Nik Shuliahin
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I Could Use Some Help!
You may have heard the analogy that men are like waffles, women like spaghetti. Neuroscientists have found that typically the male brain focuses on one thing at a time while females tend to mentally juggle multiple thoughts. For example, when a man is doing the dishes, he’s thinking about…the dishes. When a woman is doing the dishes, she might be thinking about the grocery list, that salad for the picnic on Saturday, the dentist appointment tomorrow, and that she needs to call her parents to see how they’re doing. All this mental and emotional work is invisible, but it can be exhausting.
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The Benefit of the Doubt
Courtesy of Pixabay via Pexels The image of a pebble dropped into a still pond is a powerful one for many people. It is a visual representation of the idea that one small act can have a “ripple effect.” It can spread out and be carried across the water of our life and the lives of those around us further than we may perceive. Giving the benefit of the doubt can be that pebble in your relationship with your spouse.
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Annual Marriage Tune-Up
A number of years ago, some friends of ours told us about a little trick they use to keep their marriage healthy, strong, and vibrant. Every year, they pledge to attend some kind of marriage enrichment event together. According to our friends, this does not mean weekend getaways to the beach, skiing, or going to a bed and breakfast together.
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“Zing-Zing-Zing!”
Google “conversation basics” and 4 of 5 bullets focus on listening. Listening is a vital part of conversation, but Great conversation is a balance of both speaking and listening. Photo Credit: Wynand vanPoortvliet MF: When we were dating, Tom’s ability to talk about anything and everything was very attractive. He is a fabulous storyteller, but sometimes I can’t help but interrupt a long story with an entry line like “Zing-zing-zing!” and then proceed to share a point or clarification.
