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Is It Wrong To Feel This Way?
Have you ever felt a certain way and felt guilty about it? Before condemning ourselves, we have to acknowledge one thing: feelings are neither right nor wrong. Feelings have no morality, they just happen spontaneously, like a sneeze. If I feel angry or jealous or whatever, having the feeling is not the problem. It’s what I choose to do with the feeling (my actions) that can be right or wrong.
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Arguing is Not the Enemy!
Have you ever heard a couple say, “We never argue”? They have perfected the “Yes, Dear,” and the rest of us just roll our eyes.
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Money Matters
When we were newly married, Paul asked me if I would mind if he took care of paying all our bills. I literally said, “Oh thank God!” I felt relieved I wasn’t responsible for making sure our rent, utilities, and car payments were paid. I also felt secure knowing that part of our monthly income would be put aside as savings for retirement and buying a house.
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Opposites Attract?
While out for dinner recently, we placed our order with the server and once again said, “Opposites attract!” Mark enjoyed meat and potatoes with a glass of sweet white wine, and Mel had fish with a dry red wine. We remarked on how opposite our orders were and reminisced about our differences and how they have impacted our marriage.
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Leave & Cleave
Leave & Cleave(adapted from “The Art of Marriage” video series) Most married couples have heard that we must “leave our fathers and mothers and cling to our spouse.” While it’s not easy, it is necessary.
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Forgiveness & Healing
Sustaining a joy-filled marriage is hard work. When two people get married and live together, the challenges of everyday life start adding up. Between our different personalities, the demands of work, raising children, extended family, married couples can occasionally get on each other’s nerves. It’s inevitable that eventually we’re going to bump into each other and cause some hurts between us. When this happens, we need forgiveness and healing to repair our relationship.
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Making Up is Hard to Do
Every married couple has conflicts- sometimes over the littlest things. Most conflicts are a result of our unmet expectations– I expected this, but instead that happened. We begin to feel hurt or disappointed. We begin to think we’re disrespected or that we’re unloved.
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TGIF!
Tom and I can say “TGIF!” with very different ideas of what that might look like especially as Friday unfolds into Saturday and Sunday. I need the weekend to get caught up on stuff and slip in a good workout to make up for slack time during the week. If I approach the weekend with the attitude “I am the only one that gets anything done around here” and paint Tom as “Mr Slouch” it is pretty unlikely he will enjoy pitching in to help.
